Written 6/21/2024
Hello Dear Readers,
Sometimes, despite my best efforts, I feel like I am coming up short. My body bears the brunt of this battle, feeling worn and tender with a mild, persistent ache across my muscles. My ongoing struggle with a kidney condition drains me, leaving me feeling like an empty shell—a zombie, if you will—utterly devoid of energy, craving nothing more than to remain motionless.
Then my thoughts drift back to last night. Even though I was physically spent, sleep eluded me. This isn’t a new ordeal; falling asleep has always been a monumental task for me, requiring intense focus—and ironically, when I’m exhausted, it feels as though I’m too tired even to sleep.
I can’t help but think that my physical condition is tied to these sleep challenges. Yesterday, for instance, I mowed the lawn, a particularly strenuous task. However, I managed to complete it without getting dehydrated, following my doctor’s strict advice to stay hydrated.
Dehydration stresses my kidneys, forcing them to work overtime, so I conscientiously keep up my fluid intake. Sometimes, the heat in Nashville can be overwhelming. This June has been unusually hotter than usual, causing me to sweat excessively. The usual recommended amount of 1.5 liters of water isn’t sufficient anymore. This increase in heat and sweating means I’m likely not drinking enough water, leading to dehydration, which invariably makes it difficult to fall asleep.
Sleep, as we all know, is crucial. It’s become clear that I need to find better strategies to ease myself into rest. Being on numerous medications, I tread carefully around supplements or herbal remedies to avoid any potential interactions. My wife, who used to struggle with sleep herself, has found solace in meditation before bedtime. She was once a night owl, frequently battling to get some rest, but now, meditation helps her drift off quite swiftly.
Living with a kidney condition that leads to chronic fatigue is a constant balancing act. Every day, I have to be mindful of my physical activities, hydration, and sleep preparation. It’s a comprehensive approach, looking after not just my kidney health but my overall well-being. Managing this condition is not just about following doctor’s orders—it’s about adjusting my lifestyle to accommodate my body’s needs.
I’ve learned that self-care is not just a practice but a necessity. It involves listening deeply to my body’s signals and responding patiently and kindly. Whether it’s choosing to rest instead of pushing through another chore or remembering to hydrate diligently, these small decisions significantly impact my quality of life.
As I continue to navigate this journey, I find strength in the small victories—completing daily tasks without compromising my hydration, gradually finding what helps me unwind and rest, and learning from each experience. Living with a chronic condition isn’t just about managing symptoms. It’s about understanding and adapting to your body’s new limits and finding ways to live within them peacefully and productively.
To those who might be on a similar path, know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. It’s okay to feel like you’re not doing enough, even when you’re doing all you can. The key is exploring, adjusting, and finding what works for you. Patience, persistence, and self-compassion are your best tools on this journey.