For the first time this season, I completed all ten intended pullups. During summer, I had physically intensive chores, such as lawn mowing, and I had to drop off some of my muscle training exercises. Pull-ups are one of the exercises that dropped out. Due to my kidney condition, I am restricted in protein intake. In early summer, I noticed that I had difficulties keeping my ideal weight. Since I can eat less protein than a healthy adult would consume. I suspected I lost my muscles. I made choices to keep running and less muscle training. I wanted to get back to it in the Fall.
I had difficulty doing my pull-ups for the first time since I dropped out of the exercise after a few months. I had lost muscle endurance altogether. I felt that lactic acid accumulated quickly, and I had no power to continue. It has been some time since I added back pull-up and pull-over muscle exercises to my summer routine. I gradually gained back my muscle endurance and strength. Today, I had to drop off after the first 5, but after a short break, I finished them. I’ll keep trying to get closer to getting them all done without having to take a break, but as long as I get them all done, I’m pretty satisfied.
With the compromising kidney conditions, I need to be patient with anything I will do with my body. No matter how much I want to gain my muscles quickly, exercising more than my body can handle could cause unwanted muscle loss or, even worse, an injury. I still need to get my pullover count back up to 10, but I’m sure that happen. I have to be patient.
My journey to getting back to what I could have done continues. I’ll need to work out a new exercise schedule today. After I can increase my pullups and pullovers to sets of 10, I can add dips and leg lifts to the routine and eventually start doing bicep curls again. My wife noted that doing the same exercises daily was not a good strategy and that I should spread them out more instead. This way, I think I’ll focus on a single exercise type each day of the week, and this may be something that I can maintain during the lawn mowing season, too.
I decided to skip my run today since we planned to celebrate the milestone of her citizenship journey by indulging in a trip to Starbucks for coffee. My wife had her citizenship test/interview early this morning. Shortly after finishing my winter exercises, she called me to say she was on her way home.
Her test was at 7:35 a.m., so she left the house at 6:40 a.m., leaving her an extra 20 minutes. When she goes to the office, she usually leaves the house around the same time, so the time itself does not bother her. She was worried that she would get lost or have an accident on the way.
She has been preparing for the exam since April, but she gets distracted by something she finds curious. For example, she learned about the list of cabinets for the United States. She can’t stop there. She would dig through what each department does. She says time is her most considerable enemy because she forgets about time. Honestly, the way she studies or does anything, no time is enough. She got into so many troubles when she was much younger. She had to compromise with the environmental forces to prevent what she wanted, such as time. So whatever she does is planned for a long time. Some of her goals could be traced over a decade.
I could not believe it when she told me she had never tried the famous seasonal treat, pumpkin spice latte. She had just found out about it and was eager to experience it. Knowing she would be back in roughly 30 minutes, I did not have time to finish a run before she returned. I wanted to be ready to leave for our coffee whenever she wanted. Since it was freezing this morning, I was not too upset about skipping my run; I’ll have to commit to the full 10k to compensate for today’s laziness.
My wife had a pumpkin spice latte. Since I haven’t had a pumpkin spice latte before this year, I tried the Pecan Crunch Latte. I prefer a pumpkin spice latte. My wife loved her pumpkin spice latte. She was wondering how the coffee tasted of pumpkin.
We are planning to donate the materials used for the citizenship process. My wife was worried that she had written something in them, but I told her that some people could benefit.
I am happy that she has reached another milestone, as I know she has wanted U.S. citizenship for a long time.
Long before the Declaration of Independence in 1776, many Europeans and colonizers headed to the New World, now known as the United States. They sought refuge from the constraints of their homelands, hoping for political liberty, religious freedom, economic opportunity, or escaping prosecution. However, over time, many began to feel exploited by their countries of origin despite living in this new land. So, they declared independence in 1776. Even after the Declaration of Independence, people continued to migrate to the United States, inspired by the promise of ‘Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness’—an ideal later known as the American Dream.
After the 1880s, the United States experienced an industrial revolution. The definition of the American Dream started to shift to something more materialistic. The United States earned a lot during the First World War. In the 1920s, the United States experienced a crazy and chaotic period, with massive economic exploration until 1929, when the market crashed.
The book The Great Gatsby was written and published in 1925 by F Scott Fitzgerald. It’s a book written from the percept of Nick Carraway, both inside and outside the event surrounded by Jay Gatsby. The mysterious Jay Gatsby lived in the vast mansion next door to Nick House. Gatsby built his fortune so that he would be with Daisy Buchannan, from old money, by doing bootlegging and shady bonds. He always held lavish parties so that he could meet his lost love once again, hoping to be with her. Despite the massive wealth Gatsby accumulated, Daisy did not leave her husband for Gatsby in the end.
There are pieces of Scott’s sentiments everywhere in the novel itself. For one, just like Jay Gatsby was pursuing Daisy, he was pursuing Genevra King, the daughter of a wealthy banker. Despite attending a private school for the elite and Princeton University, he was from a modest family. When Fitzgerald went to see her father, Genevra’s father told Fitzgerald that a poor boy should not seek to marry into a wealthy family. Later, he met Zelda Sayre, who was also from an affluent Southern family. Zelda also rejected Fitzgerald’s marriage proposal, as she wasn’t sure of Fitzgerald’s future financial prospects. After his first novel was published, Zelda accepted Scott’s marriage proposal. From what I could tell from his biography, happiness did not seem to last in their marriage, especially after their financial situation deteriorated.
Despite his humble background, Fitzgerald did very well after publishing his book. He lived in a luxury apartment on Long Island and enjoyed a life of riches there. The economic stroke of 1929 impaired him financially. To make it worse, he also had alcohol use disorder and health problems from heavy drinking in his youth. They were nearly bankrupt when they moved to Ashville, North Carolina. Desperate for money, Fitzgerald returned to Hollywood. The final year, he managed to achieve sobriety, but he was broke when he died in 1940. He was just 44 years old.
This novel allowed me to rethink what the American Dream truly means. Like many others, I once aspired to this ideal and came to the United States with that hope. While achieving the American Dream would not be impossible, it remains a significant challenge. Jay Gatsby’s disillusionment with the American Dream reflects the gap between his dream and reality, probably shaped by what Fitzgerald himself experienced. In this blog, I’ll explore the American Dream, Gatsby’s relentless pursuit of it, Fitzgerald’s experience, and Gatsby’s disillusionment – the novel’s critique of this enduring ideal.
The American Dream
What is the American Dream?
So, What is the American Dream? Climbing up the ladder of social states? Having a Porsche or a mansion. The definition of the American was slightly different a long time ago. Some people sought economic opportunities; many sought liberty or a new life in the new world. An industrial revolution in the 1880s shifted the definition to a more worldly one. Reeve (1987) explains the American Dream in three dimensions: the frontier, social mobility, and wealth.
The Frontier:
The frontier originally meant exploring something unknown. Many colonizers came to the new world to settle, or someone like Lewis and Clark explored the west of the United States. In this context, the American dream symbolizes expanding one’s opportunity by exploring the unknown and building a new life from nothing. The concept of the Frontier attracts many immigrants and colonizers to head to America, believing anyone can achieve success through hard work and determination. It embodies a spirit of exploration and expansion both geographically and socially.
The frontier is shaped by people who overcome obstacles or limitations due to birth or position, carving out their place in society, just like Gatsby. His efforts to rise from humble origins are considered frontier ideology to live in East Egg. East Egg, the green light, was the symbolic “frontier” for Gatsby.
Social Mobility:
Social mobility refers to moving up or down the social ladder by earning more or having a better education or status. In the idealized American Dream, social mobility is the key. To achieve the American dream, people work hard to improve their circumstances regardless of birth or origin.
The promise of social mobility is central to the American dream. In The Great Gatsby, however, the author questions this promise. While Gatsby earned and accumulated wealth, he never gained acceptance from the East Egg people. After his death, people who frequently attended the party Gatsby held did not even show up for his funeral, suggesting that the ideology is a social myth by the author.
Wealth
Wealth in the context of the American Dream is often equated with success, prosperity, and achieving one’s goals. It represents the material rewards of hard work and ambition, whether a large house, financial security, or luxury items.
Gatsby achieved wealth just like he expected. Wealth is central to the plot of Great Gatsby, as characters like Gatsby pursue it to attain status and happiness—at least that he thought. He obtained prosperity by dealing with shady bonds or bootlegging, suggesting he did not care how he obtained prosperity. The novel also critiques the idea that wealth leads to true fulfillment, as the characters’ lives, despite their riches, are often empty and morally corrupt. Ultimately, his wealth did not bring his genuine desire – to be with Daisy.
Fitzgerald understood how wealth impacts getting married from his experience, especially if you marry someone richer than you. After all, He was rejected for marriage twice for the same reason of having enough financial prosperity. His effort to become successful as a writer resembles how Gatsby tried to obtain to be with Daisy. In the end, Fitzgerald and Zelda are not happy despite their success. In some way, Fitzgerald and Zelda also resemble Tom and Daisy’s relationship.
The Disillusionment of the American Dream by Gatsby
Jay Gatsby was a successful man who achieved the end; however, his ending was rather tragic. He accumulated a vast fortune, hoping to win Daisy’s love. However, despite his success, Daisy still decides not to leave her husband, showing that true happiness and acceptance remain elusive no matter how much wealth one gains. Daisy wasn’t drawn to Gatsby himself but to the lifestyle and status his wealth represented. The novel illustrates the near impossibility of social mobility. The divide between West Egg’s New Money and East Egg’s Old Money highlights the entrenched class barriers.
Fitzgerald underscores that wealth alone cannot bring happiness or elevate one’s social standing in a rigidly stratified society. Only Nick and Gatsby’s father attended Gatsby’s funeral, revealing the superficial nature of his social connections. Through this, Fitzgerald critiques the illusion of the American Dream and the false promise of upward mobility.
The disillusionment of the American Dream is a recurring theme in American Literature. For example, In Death of a Salesman, a play by Arthur Miller, a salesman meets a tragic end as he chases success without a clear strategy or realistic self-awareness. In the novella Of Mice and Men, written” by John Steinbeck, Stenbeck explores another poignant example of disillusionment.
For centuries, many people worldwide, including myself, have come to North America hoping to build a better life. Even people born in the United States have long aspired to achieve wealth and success. In reality, the American Dream is perceived as more challenging to achieve. Younger Americans are more skeptical of obtaining the American Dream. According to the Pew Research Center (July 2, 2024), only 53% of people believe that is possible, while 41 % feel it may have been possible in the past. Furthermore, the stats suggest that older and wealthier adults believe achieving the American dream is still possible.
Many of us have faced the disillusionment of this ideal, realizing that the path to success often requires more than hard work and ambition. The American Dream remains a powerful concept, but its promise has grown elusive in today’s society.
My Thought
For me, the definition of the American Dream was to escape from the gender expectations in Japan. It was more challenging for women to be successful outside their homes. I have seen the Japanese economy deteriorate gradually. Employment preference was given to males. The more I heard that many women could not get a full-time job despite their education, the stronger my determination to come to North America became.
I did not become rich like Gatsby, but I feel all right. I have my own family here in the United States, a graduate-level education, and a professional job. Despite the depressing stats I provided earlier, I am still hopeful. Anyone can achieve the American Dream with a clear strategy or realistic self-awareness.
Vanneman, R., & Cannon, L. W. (1987). The American Dream. In The American Perception of Class (pp. 257–282). Temple University Press. https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv941wv0.17
I woke this morning to confirmation that I had put enough effort into my pullups. My subscapular muscles and my biceps were sore. Even last winter, the pull-ups gave me muscle aches, although the aches were much less intense than today.
I wear gloves my sister gave me last winter to protect my skin. My wife gifted me the pullup platform over a decade ago before I had a brain stroke. Due to the brain stroke, I could not use the machine for several years. My wife did not get rid of it. She adamantly told me that she would use it if I could not use it in the future. She usually gets rid of things we don’t use without hesitation, so this was abnormal behavior for my wife. I thanked her for not getting rid of the machine, regardless.
Because I have been working on muscle exercises, my wife wants to gradually add muscle exercises to her workout curriculum. She is more of a cardio person but says that is not good enough. She runs to keep her body, especially her energy, high. Still, she would get hurt without a proper body to handle her energy. She’s started stretching to be more flexible. Now, she wants to have more muscles. She has so many things she wants to do, and she wants to have a healthy brain to do them at a later age. I know she does not like muscle training as much. So, I want to help and support her in her muscle training.
Despite this soreness, I did another set of exercises before breakfast. I wanted to see how well I would do today. Completing a push-up set was more manageable than yesterday. I could complete more before needing to drop off for a moment. So, I expect to be at least as sore tomorrow.
I have loved training my muscles since I was young and did gymnastics. My training is about something other than bulking up muscles, though. You would need strong core muscles to complete some gymnastics routines.
As we age, our bodies act a little differently. For example, retaining muscles while maintaining them will be easier. I also understand that I have restrictions since my kidneys are compromised. For one, I consume protein like I used to, which hurts me to gain muscles. But I also understand it is not impossible to gain muscles even if I am aged or have compromised kidneys. I need more patience with my body.
Eventually, my muscles will catch up to what I’m forcing them to do, and the soreness will fade. It might take a week or two to reach that point, but I’m in no rush.
Last night, I decided to start my winter running routine early. The day is getting shorter, and the sun is rising past 6:40 a.m. now. I used to run a little past 8 a.m. to avoid the Nashville heat. The later the sun rises, the chilly the outside temperature is. The coldest temperature of some of the day was below 40F.
I started to shift around my workout schedule so that activities involving going outside are done much later in the day. I began adding pull-ups and push-ups just like before implementing the summer exercise curriculum. After setting my breakfast bowl and coffee on my desk,
It had just been a few months since the change, so I decided to do push-ups like I used to. In reality, that is not what happened. I found doing the pullups to be much more complicated than I remember them being the last time I did them. Previously, I remember being able to do a set of 10 without pause, but today I could only manage 4. I completed 10 in total but had to drop off for a few seconds between bursts of effort. At least the push-up exercise was easy for me to complete.
It was a little disappointing. Now, I wonder how long it will take me to return to where I was before summer. I’ll just have to keep working on them and doing what I can until they’re more accessible. The only way I will do this is to increase the rep per set gradually.
In summer, I had to do much more chores outside. The chores can be stressful for my body, especially with the steep hill in our backyard. Some days, I didn’t have enough energy to complete both, so I changed my exercise routine. I have kidney conditions, so I get tired much faster than a healthy adult.
I started adding muscle training to my routine in the last two years. It was better in the first year because my reps and sets for each session were much smaller.
For next year, I should schedule a little differently so I can still do my muscle training, like push-ups or pull-ups. There are some solutions to this. I could have yard work split not into two days but three days. I could also reduce the days I work out but keep doing them.
The very chilly morning temperatures look like they’re about to bounce around chaotically over the next week. The weather may rise 10 degrees before dropping 20. We are riding a roller coaster made by some weather machine. I don’t like these swings because they don’t give me time to adapt.
Ever since my brain stroke, I have caused trauma in my hypothalamus, and I have lost control of my body temperature and the thermoregulation system. Our body is supposed to adjust heat by sweating, shivering, or changing blood vessel dilation. Brain stroke also damages the censoring system on my skin so that I can feel both cold and hot at the same time.
My wife keeps the house temperature at about 65F (18C). She believes that being too hot in the winter or too cold in the summer would break our thermoregulation system. Living in Portland, we hardly used a heating or cooling system. This is not as possible in Nashville, where the weather can be hotter and cold. Since I have a problem adjusting my body temperature, this helps me greatly during hot summers or cold winters.
I change how I dress to control my temperature by consulting the weather app on my phone. It can be critical when I go running. Sometimes, I do a 10km run and could be outside for over 60 minutes. I started to log my running speed; I noticed that the temperature greatly impacted my running performance. Sometimes, the temperature shifts to 10F while I am running. The volatile temperatures leave me either overdressed or underdressed.
The temperature will not stop me from running unless there is a snowstorm. I hope to run a 10k tomorrow, but I’ll do so after breakfast. It’s been several months since I’ve eaten breakfast before running, so I’m curious how returning to that schedule will feel.
Today was a nice day. The temperature exceeded 85F, but the wind was still cold, making the temperature relatively comfortable. On a day like this, I just want to sit, relax, and have a lazy day. My wife had a plan for us.
My wife read “To Kill a Mockingbird” this September and wanted to watch the movie. She has been planning to watch the film since last week.
My wife does not watch movies, TV shows, or YouTube videos, so she rarely suggests this type of activity, such as watching movies. She has trouble sitting still and watching anything for a long time. She watches movies, usually intending to analyze a film. Many people would have popcorn for a movie; my wife has a notepad and water bottle. Since she was, in part, watching the film as an academic exercise, she was more willing to sit through it. I love watching movies, so I am always happy to watch them with her.
I watched this film in high school after we had read and analyzed the book. Rewatching the movie brought back some childhood memories. My wife told me the book is now banned in some parts of the United States. The movie was rated as 18+. Many high school children would not even watch the movie at school.
After watching the movie, we talked about it. My wife wondered which color suit Atticus (Gregory Peck) was wearing. She thought it was likely gray, but I pointed out tan would also make the color.
She also talks about the differences between the books. Although we both agree the difference would not change, it was not too significant to the point of killing the author’s intention. She was interested in how they expressed the book’s Southern Gothic part. I, on the other hand, was distracted by how the shadow of Boo was portrayed when Jem was at Boo’s house. My wife said all perceptions are memories of young children; they could not be accurate, and vividly remembering things is primarily memorable to them.
I think we had a good day overall. We watched a good movie and had a good conversation about it.
Over the last few months, I’ve noticed that my wife’s skill at analyzing literature has dramatically improved. After more than a decade of reading only non-fiction, she unexpectedly ventured into fiction again. Then, last year, she suddenly began to learn how to analyze literature. Along the way, she also started to learn how to write a novel, hoping she could reverse engineer works of literature one day.
She started rereading classics she read as a teen. As people gain more knowledge and experience, their impressions of novels change drastically. She told me that her reading experience of those novels had shifted. My wife found that experience exciting. She also picked up other classics she had somehow missed reading while young. She talked about the books she had read with me. I’ve read some of her books in the past, so I shared my thoughts with her. We compared our experiences with the stories.
Whenever something in a book piqued her interest, she researches the topic. All her findings are organized in her digital research notebook. She told me that writing about what she found out and organizing notes were the ways she retained her acquired knowledge. The method works for her.
She still asks me questions about other books I’ve read, but she tries to understand my interpretations of literature. Our interpretations are often different since we have different knowledge and experience sets. She asked me why I interpret things that way when we have different interpretations. She also finds our differences interesting. I guess anything seems to make her curious. Her curiosity never seems to wane.
Meanwhile, I am writing a novella by taking Brandon Sanderson’s writing courses on YouTube. I’m already in several classes. It amazes me that we can learn anything from YouTube. He formally learned at University, so he gave us many valuable tips on writing. I always thought Sanderson was extremely good at developing his characters. I adore all the characters he has in the Stormlight Archives series. The course intends for people to write a novella by the time you finish the course. My wife told me she would take the course after completing the U.S. citizenship exam.
I’ve already started working on my novel. My wife is learning literature criticism while she does all her research on books she is reading, taking note of any techniques she finds interesting in them. If I ever complete writing a story draft, I will ask my wife to help me improve by adding her thoughts. With her growing expertise in literature analysis, she can help me turn it into something truly worthwhile.
I woke and dressed this morning, ready to go outside and vacuum leaves from our lawn. As soon as I opened the door, a sharp chill greeted my skin, biting my skin. Winter is definitely on the way. Shivering with cold, I quickly closed the door, leaving the cold weather behind the door. Let’s do the yard work after I eat breakfast.
The weather in Nashville has gotten pretty chilly over the past few days, causing leaves to fall from the trees. We noticed some maple trees in the forest behind our house were changing color. Although the temperature rose quickly, by the time I’d eaten my breakfast, it had warmed by 10 degrees F. My biological thermostat has been broken since my brain stroke, so I am more sensitive to temperature change than ordinary people. After my breakfast, it was warm enough to tolerate, just like I had planned.
There are two big trees—one on our property and one on our neighbor’s—that seem to be constantly battling to outdo each other with the amount of leaves they shed, leaving me to clean up after them. It took me nearly two hours to vacuum most of them. After nearly two hours of leaf collection, I decided that I had done enough. I’ll have to evaluate the yard again tomorrow after my run to see if I need to do another session on Thursday.
My wife mentioned to me that she felt like running at night even though she runs at 5:30 a.m. It’s pretty dark in the morning. She does not get to see any sunlight during her morning run anymore, and she feels that she does not get enough sunlight. She hopes the time shift will make some sunlight much more accessible.
I am aware that my wife is struggling to balance her daily schedule with her biological rhythm. When the days are shorter, our biological clock changes. My wife had a restless summer and sleep problems, and now she seems to have the opposite. She just hopes for the timeshift so that her schedule is closer to her biological clock.
I, too, plan to shift my schedule to wintertime shortly. It’s almost as if I did a trial run of my intended schedule once daylight savings time ends, although I did not do the exercises I designed to do on that schedule. My body cannot tolerate the cold anymore, so I plan to run much later in the day to avoid the extra stress on my body.
A few days ago, I slammed my toe on a door in our master bathroom. Our toes play an essential role in our movement. The pain was so great that I couldn’t run today, although my toe was still tender. I thought it would go away shortly, but it persists.
Chronic kidney disease often delays our healing ability; we are also considered to have weaker immune systems. We live with restricted foods, in some way, since I have a lot of restrictions with my foods. We try as much as we can with our lifestyle, but the damaged kidneys can’t repair themselves without a lot of work. My kidney improved from level 5 to level 3. So, I know kidney conditions can be improved even if we cannot repair them.
My wife was worried that I might have fractured my toe. My toe is neither swollen nor bruised. I just hit it hard, and my kidney conditions prevent me from healing fast enough.
After a few days, I started running. My toe still hurts, mainly when I apply pressure to it. Adding to the pain in my toe, I have muscle soreness from squatting while painting our deck yesterday. I still managed to do some running today. I got within 30 seconds per kilometer of my target pace, so it was not too bad.
I will watch my toe. My wife, who recently twisted her ankle, started running without allowing it enough time to heal. She was pretty upset about the event, as she missed the 150 KM challenge by 8 Km for August / September.
We have less than three months to complete this year. I had some trouble achieving my goals in the summer and am now dealing with a toe injury. I am still okay with it because the important thing is the process of working hard toward my goals, not the output itself.
