Category: Brian’s Journey

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Coping with Unexpected Kidney Function Changes

Written June 25, 2024

Hello Dear Readers,

Yesterday went well overall, but I received some concerning news from my nephrologist. Either the labs were taken on an off day for me, or my already compromised kidney function has significantly declined. My log showed no anomalies, so my doctor thinks it was a bad day, possibly due to dehydration. I’m hoping that the previous tests were conducted on such a day. More blood and urine samples were taken to retest, and I should have an update in a few days.

Receiving news like this can be really disheartening. I keep wondering what could have caused the sudden drop in my kidney function. I’ve been doing my best to follow all the recommendations from my doctor. It might be that a recent change in my medication is having an unexpected adverse effect, so reverting to my previous regimen could be necessary.

Regardless, aside from ensuring I continue to do what I know I should be doing, there is little else I can control. My wife always reminds me not to worry about things beyond my control.

There are two things I can improve. I can improve my hydration by not eating more than one Ganoral bar daily. Sometimes, due to the heat, I feel more dehydrated than usual. My doctor mentioned that the Ganora bars I’m taking are protein-based, so he’s not overly concerned, even though I sometimes eat a few of them per day. I just can’t allow myself any excuses for not drinking enough water or over-indulging in snacks.

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A Day at the Nephrologist’s Office With My Wife

Written 6/24/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

Today, I found myself at the nephrologist’s office instead of my usual Tuesday or Thursday appointment due to a schedule change initiated by the doctor’s office. 

Luckily, my wife was able to take a day off to join me today, turning the appointment into a little excursion. She’s been eager to meet my nephrologist, and we’ve also planned a treat for ourselves—a visit to the new cupcake store that just opened near us.

The appointment was set for right after lunchtime. My wife was all over the house, ticking off her to-dos before we headed out. The appointment only changes my daily schedule a little. Changing the appointment day meant I’d skip my usual run. Given today’s scorching heat, missing it seemed alright, rather desirable. I’d still fit in with my other exercises, keeping up with my usual activity level.

At the doctor’s office, I introduced my wife to my nephrologist, who welcomed us warmly. This was her first time meeting him. The usual health check followed, with him logging my blood pressure and heart rate from my smartphone, which I monitor constantly with my smartwatch. He also took note of my body weight and composition from my smart scale. He was looking for any sign of unusual changes. Ever since I had a brain stroke, I have had a smartwatch and intelligent scale to monitor those. It makes it much easier to detect any unusual signs. 

Unfortunately, my creatine and potassium levels were high, prompting the need for additional tests. My doctor thought it was similar to last summer when dehydration skewed my results since my logs did not seem unusual or bad at all. Despite my efforts to stay hydrated, I can quickly lose a few pounds of water by lawn mowing, resulting in summer yard work sometimes getting the better of me.

Post-appointment, we headed to that much-anticipated cupcake store. The cupcakes were not only a feast for the eyes but also delicious. I’m saving mine to enjoy after dinner, a sweet end to a day of health checks and treats.

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Let’s Make Our Homemade Meal Kits

Written 6/23/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

We initially subscribed to Hello Fresh Meal Preparation Kits, which cater to individuals with busy lifestyles seeking variety in their meals. My wife encouraged me to broaden my culinary skills beyond my limited set of recipes, which I tended to repeat. My wife thought I was ready to take on more recipes. This is one type of rehabilitation we implemented for my brain recovery. You see, cooking requires a lot of planning and coordinating.

My wife thought learning about portion control was the most valuable takeaway from using Hello Fresh. Despite our regular exercise routines, we found ourselves overeating. I am quite good at mindful eating, but sometimes, I also overeat. Given my dietary restrictions, I sometimes indulge in foods not typically on my list, like pasta, making portion management even more crucial.

What I appreciated about Hello Fresh was its straightforward recipes. My wife enjoyed tweaking these recipes, ensuring I always had something new to try. I’ve consistently found the recipes manageable and have never encountered any issues preparing them.

Sometimes, we feel the foods are salty. Please don’t take me wrong. Hello Fresh probably uses the recommended sodium in their meal kit. Since we have been on limited sodium intake for so long, we find many foods to be saltier than we were used to. 

Motivated by our experience, my wife aspired to create our own meal kits. We used approximately 6 months of Hello Fresh. My wife was learning from the kits. She said she is ready to create her own. She began by crafting her spice mixes, which were lower in salt or completely herb-based, avoiding excessive sodium. She also made substitutions to accommodate my kidney health or to use up leftovers, thus minimizing food waste. She started tracking any food waste to learn from previous oversights and improve our efficiency.

She took on the role of meal planner, preparing weekly kits each week and leaving a day to experiment with new recipes, hoping to expand our meal variety further.

We organized the meal kits using color-coded reusable plastic bags. My wife prepared all the seasonings on Saturdays, placing them in the bags along with the recipes and necessary ingredients.

Our first week of implementing our homemade meal kit system was a success. I measured out the spices, sauces, and seasoning mixes, all of which my wife had pre-made. The process required minimal effort on my part, and my wife was pleased with the meals produced and eager to continue this routine.

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Fighting with Chronic Fatigue with a Compromised Kidney Condition

Written 6/21/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

Sometimes, despite my best efforts, I feel like I am coming up short. My body bears the brunt of this battle, feeling worn and tender with a mild, persistent ache across my muscles. My ongoing struggle with a kidney condition drains me, leaving me feeling like an empty shell—a zombie, if you will—utterly devoid of energy, craving nothing more than to remain motionless.

Then my thoughts drift back to last night. Even though I was physically spent, sleep eluded me. This isn’t a new ordeal; falling asleep has always been a monumental task for me, requiring intense focus—and ironically, when I’m exhausted, it feels as though I’m too tired even to sleep.

I can’t help but think that my physical condition is tied to these sleep challenges. Yesterday, for instance, I mowed the lawn, a particularly strenuous task. However, I managed to complete it without getting dehydrated, following my doctor’s strict advice to stay hydrated. 

Dehydration stresses my kidneys, forcing them to work overtime, so I conscientiously keep up my fluid intake. Sometimes, the heat in Nashville can be overwhelming. This June has been unusually hotter than usual, causing me to sweat excessively. The usual recommended amount of 1.5 liters of water isn’t sufficient anymore. This increase in heat and sweating means I’m likely not drinking enough water, leading to dehydration, which invariably makes it difficult to fall asleep.

Sleep, as we all know, is crucial. It’s become clear that I need to find better strategies to ease myself into rest. Being on numerous medications, I tread carefully around supplements or herbal remedies to avoid any potential interactions. My wife, who used to struggle with sleep herself, has found solace in meditation before bedtime. She was once a night owl, frequently battling to get some rest, but now, meditation helps her drift off quite swiftly.

Living with a kidney condition that leads to chronic fatigue is a constant balancing act. Every day, I have to be mindful of my physical activities, hydration, and sleep preparation. It’s a comprehensive approach, looking after not just my kidney health but my overall well-being. Managing this condition is not just about following doctor’s orders—it’s about adjusting my lifestyle to accommodate my body’s needs.

I’ve learned that self-care is not just a practice but a necessity. It involves listening deeply to my body’s signals and responding patiently and kindly. Whether it’s choosing to rest instead of pushing through another chore or remembering to hydrate diligently, these small decisions significantly impact my quality of life.

As I continue to navigate this journey, I find strength in the small victories—completing daily tasks without compromising my hydration, gradually finding what helps me unwind and rest, and learning from each experience. Living with a chronic condition isn’t just about managing symptoms. It’s about understanding and adapting to your body’s new limits and finding ways to live within them peacefully and productively.

To those who might be on a similar path, know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. It’s okay to feel like you’re not doing enough, even when you’re doing all you can. The key is exploring, adjusting, and finding what works for you. Patience, persistence, and self-compassion are your best tools on this journey.

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Time For More Canning Fruits

Written 6/22/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

This week started on an exciting note for us. “Blueberries have finally hit the markets!” my wife exclaimed joyfully. She’s been diligently checking local farmers’ websites around Nashville, closely monitoring the season’s offerings. Like many other fruits and vegetables, blueberries depend heavily on the weather for their availability. Typically, we’re sure to find them by July, but the hot summer has prompted an earlier harvest this year. My wife is keen on getting a head start, especially since she’ll be busy canning a variety of other summer produce like chilies and tomatoes later in the season.

Thus, early this morning, we went to Franklin’s bustling farmer’s market. Despite the early hours, the place was alive with activity and the vibrant buzz of eager shoppers. Our mission was clear: secure some of those coveted blueberries. Seeing them lined up in neat rows was enough to light up my wife’s face with excitement. We picked up two baskets, but not just for immediate consumption—she plans to freeze them for gradual use in her jam-making endeavors. She finds the canning process quite therapeutic.

Originally, our plan was to return in July for peaches. However, as luck would have it, we stumbled upon the peach truck on our way out of the market. Without hesitation, we grabbed a small sack. The blueberries will become jelly, and the peaches will be transformed into delicious chutney and jam. According to my wife, it’s crucial to process the peaches first before turning our attention to the blueberries. Thankfully, she’s reserved some berries for me to bake into muffins—a treat I’m particularly looking forward to.

Upon returning home, the kitchen turned into a hive of activity. My wife started by thoroughly washing all the fruits. She then boiled a pot of water, perfect for peeling the peaches efficiently. Most of the berries were destined for the freezer, set aside for future jam sessions. Canning is time-consuming, so she prefers to reserve it for weekends when there’s ample time to indulge in the process.

Today also brought a slight deviation from my usual routine. After the morning’s detour to the market and some lingering muscle soreness, I decided to skip my typical exercises. However, I couldn’t let the day go by without some form of physical activity, so I settled for a planking session and a 5k run. It’s important to stay flexible in daily plans and physical exercise!

Our early summer market trips are more than just about stocking up on produce—they’re about making the most of what the season has to offer, engaging in the joyful task of preserving flavors and creating lasting memories. These simple pleasures enrich our lives, bringing bursts of joy and a sense of accomplishment.

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Crafting My Persona by Choosing and Adapting Traits for Personal Growth

Written 6/19/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

I’ve grown increasingly adept at molding myself closer to the ideal version of who I envision myself to be. While I’m not going as far as Wayne from Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series—whose complete transformation into different personas is on another level—I do take inspiration from certain traits of characters I admire and integrate them into my own personality.

The process starts with identifying a persona that resonates with me, someone whose qualities spark a sense of aspiration within. From there, I customize and adapt these traits to fit my own personal goals and the context of my life. This approach allows me to consciously evolve aspects of my character in a more directed and meaningful way.

Characters from books and movies often inspire me, especially those who are quick-witted, clever, and delightfully mischievous. While these traits are engaging and can be fun to emulate, there’s a fine line between being charmingly cheeky and coming off as tiresome or inappropriate. For instance, Wayne from the Mistborn series is a character I particularly enjoy. 

I admire his mischievousness and wit. Still, his quirky habit of trading items like a half-eaten hot dog for something of someone else’s doesn’t translate well into real-life interactions. Copying him 100 % would not endear me to others. I doubt my wife would appreciate it if there was a half-eaten hotdog for a thing I took from her. Therefore, I pick and choose aspects of his demeanor that can be adapted to suit my personality without overstepping social norms.

These days, my quest for a clear role model has become more pronounced. Finding a single person or character who embodies all the qualities I admire would simplify the process of self-improvement. It would provide a clear template to emulate, a solid example of how those traits could be integrated into a well-rounded and respected individual. Until then, I have been somewhat like an artist, selecting different elements from various sources and attempting to create a coherent and attractive whole.

The challenge is to do so without ending up like a patchwork or a clumsily glued pot. It’s about integrating these traits in a way that they form a seamless part of who I am, enhancing my personality rather than overshadowing or contradicting the core of my being.

Hopefully, as I continue on this path, I will discover or develop a role model who perfectly aligns with the vision I have for myself—a person whose traits and demeanor I can strive towards holistically rather than in fragments. This search for a perfect model is not just about imitation but about finding a version of myself that feels authentic and fully realized.

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Mastering Shower Routines After a Stroke to regain Independence

Written 6/17/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

One of the abilities I lost after my stroke was taking a shower by myself. It is ironic, but taking a shower is one of the private activities I enjoy a lot. For the first several months, I had my wife help me take a shower. I always wanted to regain the ability to shower, so I determined to train myself.

It took longer than I would have liked. When you get severe brain trauma, you will forget how to move your limbs. You suddenly feel like you are in a body that I have no control over. I had to be patient about it; it would be dangerous if I started to take my shower without being in control of my ability to move. Slowly, I started to regain mobility.

When I tried to take a shower, I noticed that some of my overcalculated versions of impulsive tendencies due to stroke started to creep into many of my behaviors. In other words, some of these behaviors suddenly overwrite my activities. I need to remember to do some clearing. I quickly realized that I have to be systematic with my activities to control my impulsive tendencies. 

How can I overcome this challenge? I decided to use exactly the same method to control my other impulsive tendencies. I used a method very similar to how I trained myself to remember to do many things. I do a series of rituals in the shower. I must remember normal things are not normal for me.

When I realized and contemplated what I thought was normal, I gained the habit of anticipating what would happen throughout the day and deciding how I wished to respond. Believe me, when you don’t have your body’s normal movement, there are many anticipated events. I think about it a lot while I am showering. 

Some people may say it is a mental simulation. My wife will say disaster or risk management, and I say that is my normal life. In some ways, my reaction was still impulsive when an anticipated event occurred, but it was at least one more in line with how I had previously decided was preferable. There were also times when my planned response was different from what I should have wished to do. Yet, I find myself with the planned response taking the place of the impulsive reaction.

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Controlling The Turbulent Waters of Impulsivity After a Stroke

Written 6/16/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

From a young age, I’ve battled with an impulsive streak. Ideas would hardly settle in my mind before I found myself acting on them. This trait often landed me in hot water, especially during my school days. I recall sitting in class, deeming the lecture both dull and incorrect, and voicing my disagreement without a moment’s hesitation. Over time, I learned to curb these impulses, training myself to pause and make conscious choices before reacting. Although perfection eluded me, I gradually gained a semblance of control over my actions, a victory in its own right.

However, this hard-earned self-control was one of the casualties of my stroke. Suddenly, I found myself grappling anew with my old impulsivity, which made itself known in ways both frustrating and perilous, particularly during my initial stay at a care center. A typical example was my frequent, middle-of-the-night awakenings with an urgent need for bathroom use. Under normal circumstances, this would be a straightforward, albeit annoying, situation. However, in my post-stroke weakened state, these moments became fraught with danger.

I vividly remember one such instance when, on the immediate impulse to get out of bed, I sprawled on the floor. The loud buzzing of an alarm followed, signaling a nurse to my unintended distress call. After triggering the bed’s alarm system, I faced a stern reprimand. I was instructed to press a call button and wait for assistance instead of attempting to rise. Despite this clear directive, the impulse to get up before remembering to press the button happened repeatedly, each incident a stark reminder of my diminished control.

As the frequency of these accidents increased, my wife and mother alternated nights by my side, vigilantly ensuring that I didn’t fall out of bed. This period of intense vulnerability was humbling and highlighted the extent to which my stroke had stripped away the coping mechanisms I had painstakingly developed over the years. Alongside the resurgence of impulsivity, I discovered a heightened distractibility that made concentration a formidable challenge.

Reflecting on these experiences, I recognize that the journey of recovery and adaptation is as much about relearning and restructuring old strategies as it is about physical rehabilitation. The process is slow and often discouraging, but it is also filled with moments of profound learning and personal insight. Regaining control over my impulsivity hasn’t just been about preventing physical falls; it’s been crucial in reestablishing a sense of agency and self-assurance shaken by my stroke.

In sharing my story, I hope to offer solace and understanding to those navigating similar challenges. Whether it’s due to a stroke or another life-altering event, the path to reclaiming bits of oneself can be arduous and steep. Yet, with perseverance and support, gradual progress is possible. It’s a testament to the human spirit’s resilience and adaptability to unforeseen changes.

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Navigating Everyday Life with My Busy Partner

Written 6/14/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

Life with my wife is always bustling with activity. Today, for instance, she’s swamped with work-related meetings stretching into the evening, nudging us to have dinner unusually early. Her work-from-home setup extends to four days a week, a decision influenced partly by my inability to drive since my stroke. We own a manual car, which she skillfully manages, a skill sharpened by her Canadian living, accustomed as she is to navigating snowy roads. Now, her driving duties include ferrying me around as well.

Fortunately, our residence’s location is strategic, just a stone’s throw from essential services like our dentist and general doctor, yet she still has to drive me to various appointments.

Household chores are a joint responsibility, but my wife takes on more demanding tasks like home maintenance or renovations, mostly on weekends. Despite her flexible work arrangement, her days are typically jam-packed. When she’s not buried in work, she’s either accumulating continuing education credits for her professional designations, diving into new languages, exploring technology, conducting research, or writing. Occasionally, she expresses a longing for more leisure reading time.

I’ve taken on more household duties to support her and tailored my schedule to sync better with hers. This allows us to enjoy joint activities like visiting the farmer’s market or spending quality time together. Adjusting my commitments has proven more straightforward and helps ease the pressures of her dense schedule.

Today, I plan to stick to my routine, which includes a morning run. To make the most of our time together, I’m committed to starting as early as possible, avoiding delays in my other morning rituals. While I’m on track, the day has yet to unfold completely.

Navigating life with my wife’s busy schedule requires flexibility, understanding, and a lot of teamwork. Each day brings challenges and triumphs, but together, we make every moment count.

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Hydration Hacks for Outdoor Activities: A Personal Journey with Kidney Care

Written on June 7th, 2024

Hello Dear Readers,

Yesterday was a successful day in my ongoing battle against the ever-growing grass in my yard. As I pushed the mower back and forth under the sweltering sun, I made it a point to keep myself well-hydrated—a critical practice not just for my general health but particularly vital due to my kidney issues.

Hydration is essential for everyone, healthy or otherwise, but it becomes even more crucial when managing kidney dysfunction. While at a rehabilitation center, healthcare professionals emphasized the importance of drinking at least 2 liters of water daily. The kidneys play a pivotal role in filtering our blood and producing urine. Dehydration can lead to a higher concentration of minerals in your urine, which can crystallize and pose risks to kidney health. Ensuring adequate fluid intake helps the kidneys efficiently remove waste from the body.

Living in Nashville, where summer temperatures often soar above 95°F (35°C), staying active outdoors requires strategic planning, especially given my health condition. Whether running my regular routes or tending to my garden, I pause every 30 minutes to drink water. Although slightly disruptive, hydration breaks are non-negotiable for someone with kidney issues like mine. It takes a moment to muster the energy to continue my task each time, but maintaining optimal hydration levels is a top priority.

Despite the challenges, my kidney dysfunction doesn’t deter me from enjoying and engaging in outdoor activities. It’s all about adapting and finding ways to manage my condition while still living actively. This balance is crucial not only for my physical health but also for my mental well-being. Staying active and outdoors keeps me invigorated and connected to the world around me.

In conclusion, managing kidney health doesn’t mean you have to give up your active lifestyle. With the proper precautions, like regular hydration breaks, anyone can continue enjoying the benefits of outdoor activities. It’s about listening to your body, understanding its needs, and adjusting to support your health. This means venturing too far with a water bottle in hand and always planning for necessary pauses that allow me to stay hydrated and healthy.