Category: Resilience

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The Art of Ritualistic Routines: How Mental Tricks Add Value to Daily Tasks

A Mental trick I use to help me take all of the decided-upon steps of a routine is to think of it as a ritual. This is aided by the inclusion of additional behaviors that are primarily superficial. 

While creating these rituals may make some tasks more complicated than necessary, I find that when I complete a routine precisely as intended, I feel more of a sense of accomplishment. As I said, this is purely a mental trick I use and, aside from the additional feelings of accomplishment, adds very little of use to the routine, but it also costs extremely little.

An example of this is my drying off routine when I finish showering. It begins with turning my left foot toward the shower head and drying off my face, then I turn my right foot, dry my hair, and mentally count 1. Each step involves rotating a foot, 1/8th of a turn, and counting upward. Next, I dry my arms. Left inside, then outside, Right inside and out. I dry my back on the 5th count/ foot rotation, and the 6th is my buttocks. 7th, I dry my left leg and then my right leg. On counts 9 and 10, I pat dry my face and hair a final time before hanging my towel up on count 11. On count 12, I step out of the shower and dress myself. My counting continues through this process, and if I do it right, it ends at 20 when I step into my right slipper.  

I know that facing specific directions and counting is unnecessary, but it feels right to do it that way. It also ensures that I complete all steps, which could be annoying, even though it’s not very likely to happen. Most of my rituals come naturally after I notice that I do things in a certain way. Only after thinking about the process do I decide if that’s the best way to do things. Sometimes, a budding ritual might need to be tweaked a little to make it fit with a count better or to align with something else.

You might fall into rituals as you form longer routines, and I encourage you to adopt them intentionally. They cost exceptionally little and may add some additional satisfaction to their completion.

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The Power of Routine: A Personal Journey of Supporting a Loved One

Hello, Dear readers,

After experiencing a stroke and losing my job, I made a heartfelt commitment to support my wife in any way I could. She transitioned into the role of the primary earner for our small household, excelling in her work far beyond the call of duty. Her hard work has not gone unnoticed; she’s earned numerous corporate awards and sees significant raises nearly yearly. Given her dedication, I make it a point to shoulder any chores or tasks she might otherwise feel obligated to do. This decision has allowed me to hone habit formation and routine building.

While I still need to fill my week with tasks, the possibility looms. There might come a day when I have to scale back or adjust my routine, perhaps rotating some monthly chores instead of tackling them weekly. I recently had an affirming moment when I returned from a week-long vacation with my sisters. My wife exclaimed those certain chores had gone undone in my absence. Although she managed to cover most bases, routine tasks awaited me. I saw this as a triumph, indicating that my efforts lighten her load. My system successfully achieves its intended purpose, which is as much as one can hope for.

Periodic evaluation of my routines is crucial. I need to assess whether they align with their intended goals or if some need to be modified or scrapped. This doesn’t require constant attention but should be an annual exercise. Over the past few years, my wife and I have discussed our significant goals for the coming 12 months around the New Year. This reflective moment is an excellent opportunity to review the efficacy of my established routines and habits.

Thank you for joining me on this journey, and I hope my experiences offer you some valuable insights into the importance of thoughtful habit formation.

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Juggling Work, School, and Life: My Journey to a Graduate Degree

Hey guys! So, one day, I woke up and thought, “I want to go back to school and finish my graduate degree.” Yep, even though I already have a full-time job. Crazy, right? I even decided to take not one, not two, but three courses each week. Oh, and I managed to pass two big CMA exams in just four months. So, how did I pull this off?

First things first, I had to sort out my schedule. We all have only 24 hours daily, no matter how busy. I spent about two weeks tweaking my daily plans until I found extra hours for my classes.

After figuring that out, I talked to my husband about my big idea. He was worried I might wear myself out, but he was super supportive. He even offered to help out with some chores around the house. Teamwork makes the dream work!

Initially, I decided to take it easy and sign up for two classes each semester. But guess what? I felt bold and bumped it into three courses to finish everything in just two semesters. Yeah, I soon found out that was a big oopsie. Grad school isn’t like undergrad; there’s way more work. I had tons of assignments and papers to write. I even had to take five vacation days from my job to catch up on schoolwork. It’s a good thing it wasn’t the busy end-of-year work season!

Despite the craziness, there were some rules I stuck to:

  1. Keep Running: Believe it or not, I still ran my usual 5K every morning. It’s my ‘me time.’
  2. Don’t Overeat at Night: I had to make sure I could focus on studying and feeling too full would make that hard.
  3. Use Spare Time Wisely: Any extra 15 minutes I had, I used for quick chores. A clean home makes a happy mind.
  4. Be Grateful: I couldn’t have done this without my amazing husband. He’s my rock.

So, after a chaotic but super rewarding year, I survived and thrived. I kept my grades up and even graduated with two honors. I know this was one of the craziest things I did. Whatever your big dream is, go for it. Just ensure you have a solid plan, an excellent support team, and a lot of determination.

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Two Proven Methods for Identifying Habits You Actually Need

Hello Dear Readers,

One of the challenges in establishing good habits is figuring out which practices you need. There are many strategies to spot these gaps in your life, and I’ve tried a few. Today, I want to share two methods that have worked well for me.

The first approach is straightforward: pay attention to your immediate environment. Look for tasks, especially repetitive chores, that need doing. Once you’ve identified an assignment, the next step is to decide how often it needs to be done.

Sometimes, determining the frequency is easy because experts have already provided recommendations. Take, for example, the air filters in our HVAC system. I talked to our HVAC technician about routine maintenance to extend the life of our heater and AC. He recommended changing the air filters monthly. Based on his advice, we set up a recurring Amazon order for inexpensive air filters. I also created a monthly reminder on my phone.

There are times, however, when you have to determine the frequency yourself. In such cases, you might need to revisit and adjust the interval to fit your life circumstances better.

The second method I use for identifying habits involves listening to those around me. Specifically, it grabs my attention if I hear my wife or anyone else complain about the same thing three times. I consider whether it’s something I can take action on. Using this approach, I’ve established some beneficial habits. For instance, I’ve gotten into cleaning our cat’s litter box, scrubbing our toilets, and calling my parents more regularly.

These strategies help you identify gaps in your routine. Building a complete set of habits is a gradual process. It’s usually better to let them accumulate over time rather than trying to establish them all at once.

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The Power of Small Steps: How Breaking Down Goals Leads to Big Wins

One lesson I continually learn in my journey of habit formation is the power of small, consistent goals. Achieving startling results can sometimes require herculean efforts. For example, last year, I ran over 1,000 miles. It might sound like a lot, if I only intended to run it in a month. Instead, I broke it down into smaller, more manageable distances. This approach allowed me to hit that considerable number over time.

I’m naturally inclined to try and accomplish goals in one giant leap, but this often leads to failure. For instance, I recently committed to better caring for our front yard. My first task was to weed the planter areas. Initially, it seemed like an overwhelming job. However, by dedicating just 20 minutes a day to it, I found it more manageable. I expect to finish the tendering of our front yard sometime this week without being subjected to a back-breaking, all-day endeavor.

If you need help to achieve your goals or even to get started, consider breaking them down into smaller tasks. The temptation to tackle everything all at once is strong but only sometimes effective. Intellectually, I understand this. Yet, the urge to “do it all now” still pops up.

When setting my goals, I make it a point to remind myself to break them into smaller tasks. I plan to work on these smaller tasks over a more extended period. Starting earlier and extending the timeline can be a safer and more effective approach for various activities.

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From Running to Strength: How I Built an Effective Upper Body Routine

Hello again, dear readers,

After running 1000 miles last year, I decided my legs were in the best condition they’d ever been, even before my stroke. Encouraged by my previous success, I expanded my exercises to include my upper body. I decided on pull-ups, pullovers, pushups, tricep pushups, and planks. These were all exercises I was previously familiar with and knew how to do, and they should help balance the fitness of my body a bit more. 

Next, I had to find a time/trigger for my exercises and determine how many to do. Since I’d been so good at keeping my running schedule, I used getting ready for my run as my trigger. So, every running day, before I head outside, I do some number of pull-ups, pullovers, pushups, triceps pushups, and planking. At the start of this routine, I only did one pull-up, one pullover, 21 pushups, one triceps pushup, and 1 minute, 21 seconds of planking. I found it easier to keep track of the goal numbers if they were aligned. 

I also decided that if I could achieve the target number 10 times, I would increase the number by 1. Eventually, I found that I could do two sets of exercises and did my first before I ate breakfast and my second before my run. In the beginning, when I was doing relatively small numbers of each activity, I tried to do four sets spread throughout the day. Still, I didn’t have appropriate triggers for 2 of them or 3 of them on non-running days, so I periodically forgot to do them all. Still, my before-breakfast set was reasonably easy to remember. I kept up with this set and have done it daily for over 200 days, gradually increasing my counts to 10 pull-ups, 10 pullovers, 20 pushups, 10 triceps pushups, and 1 minute 50 seconds of planking. There have been non-running days that I’ve missed the second set, but those have been rare enough that I haven’t worried too much about it.

So, after you’ve built and established a habit, consider using it as an anchor for expanding it into an entire routine. In making this routine, I prioritized rooting the practice over starting with higher/more challenging numbers. In the beginning, doing a single pull-up felt underwhelming, but I built the habit of slowly increasing the repetitions in my mind. I’m pretty confident that 10 successful sets aren’t optimal, but it’s easy to keep track of, and it’s working for me now. 

If it stops working, I must find a way to fix it. However, what matters most is that I am progressing and getting stronger.

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The Power of Small Goals: Achieving Big Results Through Consistency

One of the lessons I keep discovering throughout my various habit formation is that small goals done consistently over time can lead to pretty startling results.  

I want to accomplish a goal in one herculean effort, and I often fail when I attempt such a thing. Last year, I ran over 1,000 miles. If I had set out to run 1,000 miles all at once or even in a single month, I’m confident I would have immediately failed; however, by splitting the 1000 miles into more manageable albeit still challenging parts, I could achieve this more significant number. 

I also recently committed to maintaining our front yard better, and the first objective was to weed our planted areas. When I first decided, weeding the entire area would be nearly impossible, but I decided to find a mere 20 minutes to work on it every day. 

I expect it to be finished sometime this week, and I’ll have to maintain it. Again, had I tried to strip the areas of weeds all in one day, it would have been miserable and potentially unwise as it’s pretty hot outside.

If you need help to complete your goals or even get started at them, try to make them smaller. Don’t try to run 1000 miles all at once. Intellectually, I know it’s better to set goals this way, but I still feel an urge to try and do it all at once. 

In my goal formation, I remember to make the habits smaller and plan to practice over a more extended period. Starting earlier and going longer is a safer way to approach many activities.

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Goal-Setting 101: How to Use Rules and Triggers for Habit Building

t helps to determine rules and triggers to develop and maintain your habits. As with my running goal last year, I knew that sometimes events would conspire against me being able to meet my 35k per week goal. As such, I needed to determine some rules to play by. I had to ensure that my rules supported my plan rather than excuses I could fall back on. The first step I took in crafting my rules was to investigate what my goal was.

 

My goal was to run 35k per week, but I wanted to regain mobility endurance and support my health. Recognizing these as my real goals helped me create appropriate rules. For example, one of my rules is that I will not run if there is snow/ice on the ground. This rule would conflict if my true goal were the 35k per week. However, since my true goal is mobility, doing something that has a substantial risk of decreasing my mobility via a broken ankle from slipping/falling is counterproductive.

I tested all of my potential rules against my goals in this manner. Setting up rules like this is crucial because otherwise, I would be relying on Ad Hoc decisions, which are too easily influenced by current emotions.

As much as I wanted to achieve my actual goals and that I became focused on reaching 35k each week, there were plenty of days when I dreaded running, and it took great effort to force myself to go out. If I had not established a strict running schedule on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, I probably would have made excuses and failed to achieve my goal by missing too many days.

The other half of this equation is setting up triggers. Triggers are events or times that prompt a response or when to apply a rule. Every run day, my trigger for getting ready for running is after I use the bathroom. Every morning, after breakfast and coffee, I’ll eventually have to use the toilet; I use this as my trigger for running. After I use the bathroom, I change into my running clothes instead of returning to my computer. My no running on snow ice rule is triggered by looking out the front door when I get my second cup of coffee. If there’s snow/ice visible on my ground now, I cancel my run.

So when trying to develop your habits, First figure out your actual goals and test your habit ideas against your real goals. Second, build your ruleset so you’re not relying on feelings or motivation, and be strict with your rules. Don’t give yourself any excuses for ignoring your rules. You might need to create a new rule if you can’t do the desired behavior. Just ensure you test this new rule against your goals. Finally, make your triggers. Use alarms on your phone if you can’t find commonly occurring events.

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From One Step to 10K: How Small Choices Built a Resilient New Me After a Stroke

People can be characterized by the sum of their habits.

Everybody has habits, but not everybody chooses their habits. Every choice you make is a step toward forming a life-long habit. As such, making choices that lead you toward your desired destination is critical. So, the first step toward developing good habits is deciding where to end up.

 

After my stroke, I wanted to regain my lost mobility and lessen the burden on my wife I had become. The first step along this journey was to be able to take more than one step between resting. My wife helped immensely with this, and we went on daily walks around our Portland neighborhood.

At first, it was challenging as I had to concentrate on moving my legs. One of the things I lost from the stroke was unconscious control of movements. Walking required concentrating on activating the right leg muscles in the proper order, and doing this for more than a couple of steps resulted in neuro-fatigue, a term I learned during physical therapy.

Neuro-fatigue might be something you’ve experienced if you’ve ever spent a long late night studying for an exam the next day and felt exhausted despite being largely sedentary. This used to happen to me just from walking due to the concentration and mental effort this once simple act demanded. Counting my steps helped me maintain my focus on walking, and it also gave me a way to track improvement.

Initially, I would need to sit down and rest every 50 steps. Still, eventually, I was able to last the hour-long walk until we got home again. Now, I can run 10 kilometers without having to sit down midway. In my next posting, I’ll provide a more detailed description of how I built up to a 10k run.

 

If you want to achieve something, you’ve already taken the first step toward accomplishing it, but you need to take the next step. As I see it, the next step is to subdivide your path into small portions. In my walking, this was easy to determine; I just needed to try and put one more effort than I did on the previous walk. If I failed, I had to try that number repeatedly if necessary. Eventually, I would succeed, and I could increase my goal again.

Eventually, I discovered that what was once all I could manage was now merely halfway to my current goal. If you’re stumbling and trying to take your next step, try making your step smaller.

 

Remember the fable about the tortoise and the hare: slow and steady will win many races.