Tag: Personal Development

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Crafting My Persona by Choosing and Adapting Traits for Personal Growth

Written 6/19/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

I’ve grown increasingly adept at molding myself closer to the ideal version of who I envision myself to be. While I’m not going as far as Wayne from Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series—whose complete transformation into different personas is on another level—I do take inspiration from certain traits of characters I admire and integrate them into my own personality.

The process starts with identifying a persona that resonates with me, someone whose qualities spark a sense of aspiration within. From there, I customize and adapt these traits to fit my own personal goals and the context of my life. This approach allows me to consciously evolve aspects of my character in a more directed and meaningful way.

Characters from books and movies often inspire me, especially those who are quick-witted, clever, and delightfully mischievous. While these traits are engaging and can be fun to emulate, there’s a fine line between being charmingly cheeky and coming off as tiresome or inappropriate. For instance, Wayne from the Mistborn series is a character I particularly enjoy. 

I admire his mischievousness and wit. Still, his quirky habit of trading items like a half-eaten hot dog for something of someone else’s doesn’t translate well into real-life interactions. Copying him 100 % would not endear me to others. I doubt my wife would appreciate it if there was a half-eaten hotdog for a thing I took from her. Therefore, I pick and choose aspects of his demeanor that can be adapted to suit my personality without overstepping social norms.

These days, my quest for a clear role model has become more pronounced. Finding a single person or character who embodies all the qualities I admire would simplify the process of self-improvement. It would provide a clear template to emulate, a solid example of how those traits could be integrated into a well-rounded and respected individual. Until then, I have been somewhat like an artist, selecting different elements from various sources and attempting to create a coherent and attractive whole.

The challenge is to do so without ending up like a patchwork or a clumsily glued pot. It’s about integrating these traits in a way that they form a seamless part of who I am, enhancing my personality rather than overshadowing or contradicting the core of my being.

Hopefully, as I continue on this path, I will discover or develop a role model who perfectly aligns with the vision I have for myself—a person whose traits and demeanor I can strive towards holistically rather than in fragments. This search for a perfect model is not just about imitation but about finding a version of myself that feels authentic and fully realized.

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Navigating Everyday Life with My Busy Partner

Written 6/14/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

Life with my wife is always bustling with activity. Today, for instance, she’s swamped with work-related meetings stretching into the evening, nudging us to have dinner unusually early. Her work-from-home setup extends to four days a week, a decision influenced partly by my inability to drive since my stroke. We own a manual car, which she skillfully manages, a skill sharpened by her Canadian living, accustomed as she is to navigating snowy roads. Now, her driving duties include ferrying me around as well.

Fortunately, our residence’s location is strategic, just a stone’s throw from essential services like our dentist and general doctor, yet she still has to drive me to various appointments.

Household chores are a joint responsibility, but my wife takes on more demanding tasks like home maintenance or renovations, mostly on weekends. Despite her flexible work arrangement, her days are typically jam-packed. When she’s not buried in work, she’s either accumulating continuing education credits for her professional designations, diving into new languages, exploring technology, conducting research, or writing. Occasionally, she expresses a longing for more leisure reading time.

I’ve taken on more household duties to support her and tailored my schedule to sync better with hers. This allows us to enjoy joint activities like visiting the farmer’s market or spending quality time together. Adjusting my commitments has proven more straightforward and helps ease the pressures of her dense schedule.

Today, I plan to stick to my routine, which includes a morning run. To make the most of our time together, I’m committed to starting as early as possible, avoiding delays in my other morning rituals. While I’m on track, the day has yet to unfold completely.

Navigating life with my wife’s busy schedule requires flexibility, understanding, and a lot of teamwork. Each day brings challenges and triumphs, but together, we make every moment count.

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The Fine Line Between Stubbornness and Determination: A Personal Reflection

Hello Dear Readers,

In the intricate tapestry of language, certain traits appear deceptively similar. Yet, the context and magnitude of these characteristics can drastically alter their interpretation and reception. A fascinating example of this linguistic phenomenon is the contrast between ‘stubbornness’ and ‘determination.’ While stubbornness is often cast in a negative light, determination is celebrated as a virtue. According to the Oxford Dictionary, ‘stubborn’ implies a persistent unwillingness to change one’s opinion or attitude, whereas ‘determination’ is a steadfast firmness of purpose. Superficially, these descriptions mirror each other, but the fundamental divergence emerges from the circumstances in which these traits are displayed.

 

In an introspective exercise, I pondered whether it’s feasible to frame ‘stubbornness’ in a positive context, devoid of its typical negative connotations. Let me share a personal anecdote to illustrate this point:

**

Today, I found myself battling fatigue. The consequence of a late night and an unwavering commitment to my usual waking hour was that I struggled to remain alert and fulfill my daily responsibilities. Moreover, maintaining a civil and polite demeanor, which becomes increasingly challenging when I’m tired, was also on my agenda. I hoped that coffee would be my ally, providing enough energy to not only endure my 10k run and household chores like vacuuming but also to tackle the remainder of my to-do list. Throughout this ordeal, I constantly reminded myself of the promises made to myself and my wife, relying heavily on what I call my ‘native stubbornness’ to persevere.

**

This narrative is not a fabricated scenario but an accurate account of my day. The exercise of playing with words is indeed intriguing. It demonstrates how the perception of a trait like stubbornness can be transformed through the lens of personal commitment and the pursuit of goals. In this context, my ‘stubbornness’ transforms into a source of strength, a testament to my resolve to overcome lethargy and fulfill my obligations.

 

This exploration reveals the subtle yet profound differences in how we interpret and use words based on their context. Depending on the situation and the speaker’s perspective, the same behavior can be labeled as stubbornness or determination. In my case, stubbornness, usually perceived negatively, becomes a positive force driving me to adhere to my commitments despite physical exhaustion and mental fatigue.

 

In conclusion, the distinction between stubbornness and determination is more nuanced than it appears. It’s a matter of perspective, context, and the underlying intention behind the behavior. By reframing our understanding of these traits, we can appreciate the full spectrum of human characteristics and their role in our personal and professional lives. This realization not only enriches our understanding of language but also empowers us to recognize and harness these traits in ourselves and others for positive outcomes.

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A Reflection on Personal Growth and Developing Self-Care Routines Post-Stroke

Hello dear readers,

Navigating life post-stroke has been a journey paved with deliberate routines and self-improvement. A significant aspect of this journey has been the establishment of a series of routines, primarily developed to alleviate the responsibilities shouldered by my wife. While these routines primarily aimed to ease her burden, they inadvertently led to the evolution of my self-care practices, marking a pivotal shift in my daily life.

My exercise routines significantly epitomize the change in my self-care habits. However, a more subtle yet equally important transformation has occurred in my approach to personal hygiene. Admittedly, before my stroke, my dedication to maintaining hygiene was not up to the mark, something I now acknowledge with a tinge of embarrassment. My approach to tasks such as brushing my teeth and showering was rather lackadaisical, often being deferred until absolutely necessary.

This lax attitude towards personal hygiene was emblematic of a broader neglect for structured routines, resulting in tasks being addressed only when they became pressing issues rather than preemptively managed through a systematic schedule. I would often forgo brushing my teeth before bedtime and treated showering as an irregular, need-based activity. This procrastination undoubtedly led to lapses in maintaining an optimal level of cleanliness.

However, the adversities following my stroke catalyzed change, prompting a radical shift in my self-care routines. I revamped my approach to personal hygiene, establishing regular and optimized routines for showering and oral care. This transformation has not only enabled me to maintain a higher standard of cleanliness than before my stroke but has also instilled a sense of pride in my newfound commitment to self-care.

This newfound pride, however, casts a shadow on my previous lack of discipline, intensifying the embarrassment I feel about my past behavior. Reflecting upon this, my previous approach to life could be characterized by a lack of structured habits rather than merely having poor ones. Tasks were addressed reactively, demanding attention only when they escalated into problems instead of being proactively managed through a well-organized schedule.

The transformation in my self-care routines, prompted by my stroke, signifies more than just a change in habits; it marks a journey of personal growth and self-reflection. While many might categorize my previous lifestyle as being plagued by bad habits, I perceive it as a time when I lacked structured routines, addressing tasks only when they became urgent rather than proactively managing them.

In retrospect, I feel a sense of accomplishment in how I have turned a page in my life, developing self-care routines that have greatly surpassed my pre-stroke levels. However, this pride is accompanied by a heightened sense of shame for my previous negligence, serving as a constant reminder of the importance of maintaining disciplined habits.

Despite the embarrassment, this journey of self-improvement post-stroke has been enlightening, teaching me the value of structured routines and proactive self-care. It has been a testament to the potential for positive change, even in the face of adversity, and the importance of reflecting on one’s habits and continually striving for improvement.

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Crafting My Path: Unveiling My Ten-Week Chess Improvement Strategy

Hello dear readers,

Embarking on a journey of personal growth and skill enhancement, yesterday marked the culmination of my meticulous efforts in drafting a comprehensive chess improvement plan. With the serene ambiance post-dishwashing and the anticipatory aroma of the next day’s coffee setting the stage, I’ve dedicated myself to devoting a substantial 90 minutes each day to the intricate art of chess.

In the vast and intriguing landscape of chess, openings form the initial steps that lead to the myriad possibilities of the game. Recognizing their significance, I’ve carefully curated a list of 10 esteemed openings, each holding the potential to unravel new layers of strategic depth. The intriguing aspect of this endeavor is not just the diversity of the openings but the systematic approach I’ve adopted to study them. Every week, a selected opening from the list becomes the focal point of my exploration.

Mondays, the heralds of a new week, are dedicated to adjusting a well-structured template study plan, aligning it with the nuances and subtleties of the specific opening chosen. This initial adaptation lays down a solid foundation, facilitating a deeper and more nuanced understanding of the opening throughout the week. From Tuesday to Friday, I diligently adhere to the tailored plan, immersing myself in the intricacies and strategies that each unique opening presents. This structured approach ensures a gradual yet comprehensive grasp of the selected opening, paving the way for mastery.

Weekends bring with them a different flavor to my chess improvement journey. Stepping away from the theoretical and strategic studies, I engage in practical application by playing a game or two against the unrelenting and unbiased computer. This transition from theory to practice is instrumental, as it allows me to witness the real-time application and effectiveness of the strategies I’ve been immersed in throughout the week. The computer, with its calculated precision and absence of human error, serves as a formidable opponent, challenging me to elevate my game.

Spanning across ten weeks, this meticulously crafted plan offers a balanced blend of theory, strategy, and practical application, each component reinforcing the other. As I navigate through the varied openings and adapt my strategies, I am not just learning; I am evolving, refining my approach and enhancing my skills with every passing day. The journey, while demanding, is as enriching as the game of chess itself – filled with endless possibilities, challenges, and moments of triumph.

As the final week approaches and the completion of the ten-week journey is on the horizon, the anticipation builds. With enhanced skills and a plethora of new strategies under my belt, I will start scouting for a local tournament. This will serve as the ultimate testing ground, a platform to apply, assess, and showcase the knowledge and skills I’ve accumulated. The tournament is not just a competition; it’s a reflection of my growth, a manifestation of my dedication, and a testament to the effectiveness of my chess improvement plan.

 

In conclusion, this ten-week chess improvement journey is more than a structured learning experience. It’s a personal endeavor of growth, reflection, and continuous learning. Through a balanced mix of study and practice, adaptation and application, I am not only navigating the complex world of chess openings but also crafting my path towards mastery. As I look forward to the challenges and triumphs that lie ahead, I am reminded that, like chess, life too is a game of endless possibilities and strategic moves.

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The Power of Mental Triggers: An Effective Technique for Remembering Things

Hello Dear Readers,

If you’ve ever found yourself forgetting something important, you’re not alone. Forgetfulness is a common human experience, but it doesn’t have to be. Today, I’m excited to share a nifty memory trick that has worked wonders for me. Initially, I used it to remember to stick to my exercise routine. Still, I soon realized its applicability extends to almost anything.

The Mental Trigger Technique

The technique involves setting up ‘mental triggers’ to help you recall information or tasks at specific times. Here’s how it works:

  1. Set a Clear Goal: The first step is clearly defining what you want to remember. It could be a task like doing exercises or something informational like a grocery list.
  2. Choose a Time or Situation: Identify the time or situation when you want to recall this information. This is the ‘trigger event’.
  3. Visualize the Scenario: Next, create a vivid mental image of what you’ll experience during this trigger event. The more detailed the picture, the better.
  4. Link the Goal to the Imagined Scenario: Connect your Goal to this mental image. When you encounter the imagined scenario in real life, it acts as a trigger to remind you of your Goal.

Case Study: The Grocery Store

Let’s consider a relatable example. My wife often asks me to remind her of something once we get home. In this scenario, she has already set the Goal and the trigger event for me. My job becomes easier; I only have to picture us walking through the door when we get home. I then linked her request to that mental image. The visual trigger helps me remember what she asked when we walked through the door.

The Limits of the Technique

Of course, no technique is flawless. The success of this memory hack largely depends on how closely your imagined scenario aligns with reality. For instance, I often use this technique to remember grocery items. The trigger can fail if the grocery store has a new display or a rearranged layout that diverges from what I had visualized.

Conclusion

While not infallible, this technique has proven highly effective, surpassing other strategies I’ve tried. It’s incredibly versatile and can be tailored to suit a variety of situations and tasks. If you often need help with forgetfulness, give this method a whirl. It’s precisely what you’ve been looking for to enhance your memory and simplify your life.

So, go ahead and set those mental triggers! See if this technique can become a valuable tool in your daily life, just as it has in mine.

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The Art of Routine Building Through Mundane Chores Like Cooking

Hello, dear readers,

Today’s post is dedicated to the unexpected but delightful art of routine building through what we often consider mundane chores. Take cooking, for instance—a chore for some, a passion for others. I’ve always had a soft spot for cuisine, an affinity that traces back to my childhood learning to make pancakes with my grandmother. I didn’t realize back then that cooking would later become a tool for optimizing complex, multi-step procedures in life.

The Complexity Behind Simplicity in Cooking

In culinary arts, one of the most essential skills is mastering the alignment of various tasks to be completed simultaneously. Even a simple dish like scrambled eggs or a sandwich requires a calculated sequence of steps, each executed at the perfect time. The difference between a skilled chef and a beginner often boils down to the knack for optimizing this workflow. It’s about knowing what to do, when, and how to do it.

Embracing Reflection: The Japanese Concept of Hansei

One powerful concept I’ve come to rely on for improving my cooking skills is the Japanese practice of Hansei, which involves deep self-reflection after completing a task. The core idea is to analyze performance, understand mistakes, and strategize for future improvement. If you’re repeating a specific recipe, it’s a golden opportunity to employ Hansei. Taste the food, ponder what you like and dislike, and consider why those elements turned out the way they did. The objective is to refine the recipe each time, adapting it to align with your taste preferences.

The Case of Mapo Tofu: A Personal Experience

To provide a real-world example, let me share my experience of making Mapo Tofu, which my wife taught me. When we first tried the dish, we found it too salty despite not adding any table salt. That led to a Hansei moment—time for some culinary detective work. After scrutinizing the ingredients, I switched to reduced-sodium chicken stock instead of the Chinese-style tori gara I had initially used. The change was adequate but not quite enough. I then dived into the sauce ingredients, reducing the quantity of one while substituting it with another, less salty ingredient. And voila! The saltiness issue was resolved, all thanks to the iterative process of self-reflection and adjustment.

Conclusion

Something as ordinary as cooking can be a playground for honing essential life skills like routine-building and problem-solving. It’s a space to practice, to reflect, and most importantly, to improve. So the next time you dread life’s ‘mundane’ chores, perhaps try to approach them as an opportunity to cultivate better routines. You may discover a newfound appreciation for the everyday tasks that make up your world.

Happy cooking and happy reflecting!

Until next time.

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The Power of Consistency: One Week of Daily Blogging and the Journey Ahead

Hello to all my wonderful readers,

Having successfully written on this blog every day for a week, I’m feeling increasingly optimistic that this latest endeavor will become a long-term habit. The methodology I employed to get this far isn’t new or complicated; it’s the same advice I’ve been sharing with you in my previous posts. To summarize, I established a clear objective, which in this case was to write a brief blog post each day. I designated a specific time to pursue this writing goal, opting for the early mornings before my day officially begins with breakfast. Lastly, I anchored this new practice to an existing daily routine—finishing my first set of pushups is my trigger to start writing.

Writing a book has always lingered at the periphery of my consciousness, but until now, it remained a vague idea that I’d yet to embrace fully. I would wait for that elusive ‘perfect’ concept to strike me like a bolt of lightning. I don’t know if such a perfect idea is even a reality. Still, my ongoing recovery journey since experiencing a stroke seems like a fitting subject to delve into for the time being. While I might venture into fiction at some later stage, the habit I’m nurturing now will undoubtedly help any future writing projects.

On this subject, one author I particularly admire is Brandon Sanderson. He is often generous with his wisdom for those looking to become writers, and one piece of advice from him strikes a chord with me. His counsel is straightforward but effective: write and do it consistently. The emphasis isn’t necessarily on the volume of words but on the practice’s regularity. Even if it’s a modest 200 words daily, the results will accumulate over time, and before you know it, you could be sitting on an entire book series or more. This principle mirrors the philosophy I’ve tried to incorporate into achieving all my life goals: Start small, maintain consistency, and the results will follow.

I look forward to seeing where this new habit takes me. Not only is it providing a platform for me to share my ongoing life experiences, but it’s also laying the foundation for potential future literary endeavors. So, whether you’re an aspiring writer or have other goals you want to pursue, remember this: Start, even if it’s with something small, but keep at it regularly. After all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

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The Power of Routine: A Personal Journey of Supporting a Loved One

Hello, Dear readers,

After experiencing a stroke and losing my job, I made a heartfelt commitment to support my wife in any way I could. She transitioned into the role of the primary earner for our small household, excelling in her work far beyond the call of duty. Her hard work has not gone unnoticed; she’s earned numerous corporate awards and sees significant raises nearly yearly. Given her dedication, I make it a point to shoulder any chores or tasks she might otherwise feel obligated to do. This decision has allowed me to hone habit formation and routine building.

While I still need to fill my week with tasks, the possibility looms. There might come a day when I have to scale back or adjust my routine, perhaps rotating some monthly chores instead of tackling them weekly. I recently had an affirming moment when I returned from a week-long vacation with my sisters. My wife exclaimed those certain chores had gone undone in my absence. Although she managed to cover most bases, routine tasks awaited me. I saw this as a triumph, indicating that my efforts lighten her load. My system successfully achieves its intended purpose, which is as much as one can hope for.

Periodic evaluation of my routines is crucial. I need to assess whether they align with their intended goals or if some need to be modified or scrapped. This doesn’t require constant attention but should be an annual exercise. Over the past few years, my wife and I have discussed our significant goals for the coming 12 months around the New Year. This reflective moment is an excellent opportunity to review the efficacy of my established routines and habits.

Thank you for joining me on this journey, and I hope my experiences offer you some valuable insights into the importance of thoughtful habit formation.

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Two Proven Methods for Identifying Habits You Actually Need

Hello Dear Readers,

One of the challenges in establishing good habits is figuring out which practices you need. There are many strategies to spot these gaps in your life, and I’ve tried a few. Today, I want to share two methods that have worked well for me.

The first approach is straightforward: pay attention to your immediate environment. Look for tasks, especially repetitive chores, that need doing. Once you’ve identified an assignment, the next step is to decide how often it needs to be done.

Sometimes, determining the frequency is easy because experts have already provided recommendations. Take, for example, the air filters in our HVAC system. I talked to our HVAC technician about routine maintenance to extend the life of our heater and AC. He recommended changing the air filters monthly. Based on his advice, we set up a recurring Amazon order for inexpensive air filters. I also created a monthly reminder on my phone.

There are times, however, when you have to determine the frequency yourself. In such cases, you might need to revisit and adjust the interval to fit your life circumstances better.

The second method I use for identifying habits involves listening to those around me. Specifically, it grabs my attention if I hear my wife or anyone else complain about the same thing three times. I consider whether it’s something I can take action on. Using this approach, I’ve established some beneficial habits. For instance, I’ve gotten into cleaning our cat’s litter box, scrubbing our toilets, and calling my parents more regularly.

These strategies help you identify gaps in your routine. Building a complete set of habits is a gradual process. It’s usually better to let them accumulate over time rather than trying to establish them all at once.