Tag: Personal Growth

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Rediscovering Myself After a Stroke: A Journey Back to Youth

Written on January 7, 2024

 

Throughout my life, I often encountered the philosophical musing: if given the chance, would one return to their youth with the wisdom they’ve accumulated? For the longest time, my answer was a resolute no. My younger years were not periods I looked back on fondly, and the prospect of revisiting them, even with the advantage of hindsight, seemed far from appealing. However, fate, through the unexpected event of a stroke, made this decision on my behalf. In a bizarre twist, I was thrust back to a state resembling my youth, where essential habits and skills I took for granted were wiped clean, necessitating a thorough relearning process akin to a child taking their first steps.

 

The journey was nothing short of frustrating. Imagine, if you will, the sudden and complete loss of control over bodily functions once operated on autopilot. The mere act of walking became a Herculean task that demanded my full attention and effort. It was during this time, amidst the throes of rehabilitation and reacquaintance with my own body, that I decided to shift my perspective. Rather than mourning the loss of my former capabilities, I chose to view this as an opportunity to rebuild myself, but better.

 

This shift had its challenges. My natural inclination towards perfectionism meant that each failure and stumble was met with harsh self-criticism. Yet, the stroke provided an undeniable excuse for every shortcoming. Dropped a glass? A direct consequence of the stroke. Forgot to refrigerate the leftovers? Another lapse courtesy of my condition. While it was tempting to lean on these excuses, I recognized the danger of allowing my stroke to become a crutch that hindered improvement.

 

Determined to overcome, I made a pact with myself to persevere. While my stroke was a legitimate barrier to achieving perfection, it wasn’t an impossible one preventing improvement. Embracing kindness towards myself in the face of failure became a transformative practice. This newfound leniency allowed me to approach tasks with a beginner’s mindset, gradually improving without the pressure to achieve mastery from the outset.

 

Logging and Journaling became vital in this process, providing a tangible record of my progress. Over five years, this practice revealed to me just how far I had come. The path to recovery and self-betterment was slow, often imperceptible from day to day, but the cumulative effect was undeniable.

 

In retrospect, the stroke inadvertently forced me into the very scenario I had long dismissed. Returning to a state of developing ability with the wisdom of my years became a blessing in disguise. It offered me a second chance at relearning how to live and live better. Through this journey, I discovered resilience, patience, and a more profound kindness towards myself that I might never have found otherwise.

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Running Into Inspiration: How My Exercise Routine Became a Source of Motivation for Others

 

December 5, 2023

Hello Dear Readers,

Yesterday’s run was more than just a typical exercise session; it became a moment of unexpected introspection and community connection. While jogging, I encountered a neighbor’s father who felt compelled to introduce himself and inquire about my running habits. As we chatted, he casually mentioned that my dedication to running inspired him. This brief exchange, filled with friendly small talk and a promise to greet me by name in the future, left a lasting impression as I continued my run.

 

This wasn’t the first time someone had expressed how my regular exercise routine had inspired them. It’s the second such instance, and I must confess that I grapple with a feeling akin to imposter syndrome each time it happens. Despite the sincerity in their words, I find myself questioning the validity of their admiration. I attribute their praise partly to politeness and curiosity. Still, there’s a growing realization that there might be more.

 

In these moments of doubt, I ponder the depth of my actions’ impact on others. The thought of being someone’s inspiration, especially in a domain as personal and challenging as fitness, is humbling and daunting. It’s a shallow sensation, this doubt, yet it’s persistent. It’s easy to dismiss compliments as mere niceties. Still, the repeated occurrence of such incidents leads me to confront a new reality.

 

The responsibility of being an inspiration, even if unintended, is something I had yet to anticipate when I started my fitness journey. My initial goals were personal – to improve my health and well-being. However, the interactions with my neighbor’s father and others have shed light on a broader impact. It’s not just about the physical transformation or the discipline of a regular exercise routine. It’s about the ripple effect of one’s actions on the community.

 

Facing this reality, I’m contemplating how to harness this influence positively. While directing them to this blog to read about my experiences and thoughts is an option, there’s potential for a more productive engagement. Sharing more about the challenges and triumphs of my fitness journey could provide a more relatable and motivating narrative for others. Creating a space for shared experiences and tips could foster a supportive community around fitness and well-being.

 

In conclusion, the fitness journey is often viewed as a solitary endeavor focused on personal goals and self-improvement. However, my experiences have shown me that it can transcend individual boundaries. Our actions, no matter how small or routine they seem, can inspire and motivate those around us. This realization is a testament to the power of community and a call to embrace the unexpected roles we may find ourselves in. As I continue my running and fitness journey, I remain open to the possibilities and responsibilities that come with being an unintended source of inspiration.

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A Journey in Japanese: Day 365 and Counting

Today marks my 365th day of dedicated engagement with my Japanese language learning app. As I reflect on this journey, it’s clear that while my writing and reading Japanese abilities are still in their infancy, I have made notable strides in listening and speaking. Forming phrases in Japanese presents a challenge; I often find myself constructing sentences in English first and then laboriously translating them, utilizing my growing repository of memorized Japanese phrases.

The Japanese language is nothing short of intriguing. Its grammatical structure vastly differs from the Indo-European languages I have previously studied, presenting a fascinating challenge. I used to marvel at my wife’s proficiency in English, especially her adept use of “who” and “whom” – a feat that eludes many native speakers. However, my foray into Japanese has shed light on the underlying reasons for her linguistic precision. Japanese employs specific particles to denote the grammatical role of words. Unlike English, which heavily depends on word order to identify subjects and objects in sentences, Japanese simplifies this by using distinct particles for each. This system necessitates a keen understanding of sentence structure and is integral to spoken and written Japanese.

Looking ahead, I have set a goal for the next year to delve deeper into the Japanese writing system, starting with Hiragana. Mastering Hiragana is the first step towards gaining proficiency in the language’s script, which will eventually pave the way for me to tackle Kanji. I’m under no illusion about the complexity of Kanji, recognizing it as a more daunting aspect of the language. But, as with every step of this linguistic journey, I am ready to embrace the challenge with enthusiasm and determination. My experience so far has been a testament to the joys and challenges of language learning. I am excited to see where this path will lead me in the realm of bilingualism and cultural understanding.

 

 

 

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Lessons from Mistborn: The Ripple Effect of Our Actions

In my literary journey, I’ve stumbled across numerous tales that have left an indelible impact on me. Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series, in particular, has given me a profound insight pertinent to our daily lives: every action, no matter how small, carries consequences.

 

Throughout the Mistborn saga, a recurrent theme is how the characters’ survival hinges on understanding the repercussions of their actions. They’re not just told but demonstrated that each choice can alter the course of events, shaping the world around them. This motif, although set in a fantastical universe, carries weighty implications for us in our non-magical world.

 

In today’s vast and intricate global landscape, it’s tempting to think of individual actions as mere drops in an ocean, too insignificant to create any natural ripple. However, the Mistborn series is a poignant reminder that this isn’t the case. Just as tiny steps cumulatively lead us to our ultimate destination, our everyday decisions, interactions, and behaviors collectively shape our relationships, surroundings, and the broader tapestry of society.

 

I’ve often been asked why I delve so deeply into fiction, especially when the worlds described are far removed from reality. My answer? Stories have a unique way of embedding wisdom within us. While personal experiences undeniably teach us valuable lessons, there’s something about narratives that makes the learning more profound. They wrap knowledge in layers of emotion, adventure, and connection, making the messages palatable and deeply resonant.

 

Whenever I immerse myself in a book, I approach it as a treasure hunt. Each page turned is a step closer to unearthing a golden nugget of wisdom. Sometimes, this wisdom aligns with the author’s intended message; at other times, it’s a personal interpretation. But the beauty of literature is that it’s not always about deriving the “correct” lesson. Instead, it’s about extracting value, making each reading experience unique and personal.

 

To draw parallels, consider our actions as chapters in our life’s book. While one might feel that a solitary act or decision is inconsequential, when strung together, they form a narrative – one that affects not just us but the world at large. The Mistborn series amplifies this idea, urging readers to be conscious of their actions, as every move contributes to a larger storyline.

 

In conclusion, whether through personal experiences or the enchanting world of books, we must remember that we’re not isolated entities. Every action, word, or thought has a ripple effect. Sanderson’s Mistborn series is a compelling testament to this fact, reinforcing that even in a world teeming with billions, each individual has the power to effect change.

 

To everyone reading this, I urge you to be mindful of your actions. Recognize the influence you wield. And just as you would with a cherished book, extract lessons from your experiences, ensuring that every chapter you pen in your life’s story adds value to the world around you.

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Navigating My New Normal: Embracing Post-Stroke Clumsiness

Hello Dear Readers,

Life has a curious way of teaching us empathy and understanding. It’s often through our own experiences that we gain a deeper insight into others. After experiencing a stroke, one of the challenges I faced was an unexpected decrease in my dexterity, especially in my left hand. This unexpected turn of events forced me to grapple with a new clumsiness, unlike anything I had known before.

 

Before the stroke, I prided myself on my excellent balance and coordination. My hands were always sure and steady, effortlessly performing tasks. However, my left side became noticeably weaker post-stroke, with its response time not as quick as it used to be. This change surprised me, resulting in moments where I’d bump into objects or drop items. One incident that stands out vividly is an ordinary lunch at the hospital cafeteria. While attempting to take a sip from my drink, my left hand faltered, causing the drink to spill. It was a moment that was as puzzling as it was embarrassing.

 

These instances made me confront an unfamiliar reality. There was a pronounced disparity between what I anticipated I could do and what I was actually capable of. The once-taken-for-granted coordination became a daily challenge, requiring me to adjust and relearn. Thankfully, with persistence and rehabilitation, I started to bridge this gap over time. The gap between my anticipated abilities and my post-stroke realities gradually diminished.

 

Before this, I confess that my understanding and patience for those who might have been labeled as “clumsy” or “accident-prone” was limited. It’s not that I lacked compassion, but I lacked the lived experience. Now, with my own experiences of dropping things without apparent reason or unintentionally bumping into objects, I possess a newfound empathy for those facing coordination challenges.

 

In retrospect, it’s apparent that we often base our perceptions and judgments on our personal experiences. It takes a significant event or shift in our lives to broaden our understanding and allow us to see through another’s lens. For me, the aftermath of the stroke, with its challenges and revelations, became a significant event. It taught me the importance of patience, both with myself and others and highlighted the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity.

 

In embracing my new reality, I’ve learned to navigate through physical challenges and deepened my compassion and understanding for others. We all have our battles, seen or unseen, and it’s crucial to approach every individual with kindness and patience.

 

In closing, my message to all reading this is simple: Let us not wait for a transformative event to teach us empathy. Let’s embrace understanding and compassion as core tenets of our daily lives, making our world a little kinder, one interaction at a time.

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Relearning to Type After My Stroke

Hello Dear Readers,

Relearning a skill after a life-changing event is physically challenging and emotionally taxing. This has been my reality since experiencing a stroke, which severely affected my ability to type efficiently.

I fondly recall the days when my fingers would effortlessly dance on the keyboard at speeds of up to 200 words per minute. However, I struggle to achieve even a quarter of that pace post-stroke. The reason? My stroke took a toll on my muscle memory and compromised the strength and sensitivity of my left side. These physical limitations and my vivid memories of faster typing days have made the whole experience particularly disheartening.

It’s not merely the slowness but the inaccuracy that accompanies it. Each typo stands as a reminder of the capability I once had and the distance I have yet to cover to regain it. This sense of loss and nostalgia has often tempted me to shy away from the dedicated effort required to reacquire my typing proficiency. Despite these feelings, deep down, I remain hopeful. I believe I can rebuild this skill from scratch with perseverance and consistent effort.

Creating this blog has been a blessing in disguise for my recovery journey. It’s become more than just a platform for me to share my thoughts; it’s my daily typing exercise. I’m determined to challenge myself further by typing with both hands, even if it’s initially slower than just one. The silver lining? While my fingers might have forgotten their dance steps momentarily, my mind hasn’t. I can mentally map the keyboard layout, even if getting my fingers to follow requires deliberate thinking.

 

Day by day, as I write, I can feel the incremental improvements. The small victories, like fewer typos or slightly faster typing speeds, motivate me to persist. Given the time and intention to continue sharing my journey through this blog, I remain optimistic about reclaiming my former typing prowess.

 

I hope my story offers hope for anyone reading this and facing their set of challenges, whether related to a stroke or not. Recovery and relearning might be slow, but with patience and determination, progress is inevitable.

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The Unexpected Void: No Near-Death Experience After My Stroke

Hello Dear Readers,

 

As I slowly regained consciousness after a stroke, an unsettling realization hit me: the absence of a transformative near-death experience. Hollywood and literature often depict the brink of death as a pivotal, life-changing moment, pushing individuals toward profound revelations. Regrettably, my own experience did not align with this narrative.

In all honesty, I felt robbed. I anticipated awakening to profound memories or some ethereal journey, only to find none. My reality was akin to a deep sleep – a void, an unremarkable period of nothingness. The cynic in me couldn’t help but think, “Was this it?” This void left me grappling with an unsettling blend of disappointment and uncertainty.

The weight of what I had lost and the unknown ahead weighed heavily on me. But then, an epiphany occurred. It wasn’t through some ethereal journey but a quiet determination bubbling from within. I resolved not to wallow in the absence of a mystical experience but to focus on physical and emotional healing.

The path to recovery was by no means easy. Basic functions like walking became lessons to relearn. These tasks, albeit challenging, became a welcome distraction from the void I felt. They allowed me to refocus my energy from what didn’t happen to what I could make happen.

If my life was to be transformed post-stroke, it wouldn’t be by an elusive near-death experience but by the sheer will and determination emanating from within me. My transformation would be built on perseverance, resilience, and self-belief, not cinematic fantasies.

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Mapping Out the Fitness Journey: From Pushups to Pullups

Hello Dear Readers,

 

As the year progresses, I am inching closer to a significant milestone in my fitness journey. Those following my updates will remember that I chose to diversify my workout regimen when the year began. I expanded my running schedule to include pushups, pull-ups, and planks. It was both a challenge and a test of my determination and today, I’m proud to share the fruits of that decision.

 

Reflecting on my early days, pull-ups seemed like the Mount Everest of exercises. Completing even one felt like an achievement. I’d dangle, struggle, and barely pull myself up most days. But as with any journey, persistence plays a pivotal role. Each day, I felt my strength growing, my endurance increasing, and my spirits elevating. From that singular, challenging pull-up, I’ve made my way to confidently doing 14. It’s a testament to what dedication and consistency can accomplish.

 

My set goal is to hit the 20-pullup mark. It’s ambitious, given where I began, but now, more than ever, it’s within my reach. However, as I approach this goal, I’ve been pondering the evolution of my workout routine. A part of me believes that after achieving 20 pull-ups, the benefits of this specific routine might start plateauing. That’s where the next phase of my fitness journey will commence.

 

Tucked away in my home are some hand weights – silent reminders of workouts of the past. I’ve contemplated incorporating them into my current routine or transitioning to a new regimen centered around them. Designing this new routine, however, requires some planning. I need to decide on the specific exercises, the number of sets and repetitions, and the weight I should start with.

 

While I’m optimistic about achieving my target of 20 pull-ups in the coming weeks, I also understand the importance of foresight. I want to avoid hitting my goal and then standing at a crossroads, unsure where to go next. Hence, even as I push myself harder daily to achieve my current plan, I’m sketching the roadmap for my next fitness destination.

 

In sharing this, I aim to inspire those who are reading. Setting goals, working towards them, and then re-evaluating and developing new ones is the essence of growth in fitness and every sphere of life. My journey from one pull-up to 14 (and soon 20) is more than just a tale of physical progress; it’s a story of perseverance, dedication, and the belief that our limits are only as confining as we allow them to be.

 

So, whether you’re embarking on your fitness journey or any other personal challenge, remember that every small step counts, every day of effort compounds, and every goal achieved pave the way for a new one.

Wishing you all strength and perseverance in your journeys,

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Cultivating the Mind: The Art of Mental Pruning for Self-Improvement

From the recesses of my earliest memories, I’ve battled the demons of intrusive thoughts and impulses. While I have successfully tamed the majority, a few still slip through the cracks, especially in moments of distraction or heightened stress, leading to undesirable actions. To mitigate such occurrences, I practice what I’ve come to call ‘mental pruning.’

Mental pruning is a conscious, deliberate effort to suppress and eventually erase impulsive, negative thoughts. The process demands envisioning the person I aspire to be; this mental portrait serves as a benchmark against which I assess the nature of my impulsive thoughts. It acts as a guiding light, illuminating the counter-thoughts that help me weed out the undesirable ones.

For instance, there have been occasions when I’ve snapped at my wife unreasonably. Recognizing this as contrary to the person I strive to be, I visualize the action, recoil at the thought, and reestablish a mental image of my ideal self. Through repetition, I notice such impulses diminishing as if I’ve pruned that branch of thought to the extent that it no longer overshadows my desired thinking.

This strategy of self-training may resonate with you. While it’s no easy feat and demands constant vigilance and mental effort, I can vouch for its efficacy in my journey. It may well be adaptable to your pursuit of self-improvement, helping you become the person you aspire to be.

By becoming conscious of an intrusive thought, I focus my willpower on suppressing it, aiming to expunge it from the recesses of my mind. This task necessitates the formation of a mental image of my ideal self. I employ this image as a comparative tool to assess impulsive thoughts and as a wellspring for the counter-thoughts that cleanse my mind of negativity.

Such a mental pruning exercise is not merely an act of suppression; it’s a cultivation of the mind, nurturing the positive and curbing the negative. The analogy of pruning is apt, as it embodies the essence of selective elimination and regrowth, creating room for the blossoming of desirable thoughts and behaviors.

The journey of mental pruning is far from a stroll in the park. It demands resilience, patience, and a relentless pursuit of self-betterment. The fruits of this labor, however, are profoundly rewarding. The diminishing of undesirable impulses and the flourishing of positive thoughts are testaments to the transformative power of this practice.

I hope that sharing my experience with mental pruning may inspire others to embark on their journeys of self-discovery and improvement. The road may be arduous, and the pruning shears may sometimes feel heavy. Still, the prospect of cultivating a mind enriched with positive thoughts and actions is a compelling motivator.

 

I encourage you to explore the potential of mental pruning. Adapt it, make it your own, and witness its transformative power on your journey toward becoming the person you wish to be. After all, the mind is a garden. It can flourish into a sanctuary of peace and positivity with careful tending.

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Juggling Work, School, and Life: My Journey to a Graduate Degree

Hey guys! So, one day, I woke up and thought, “I want to go back to school and finish my graduate degree.” Yep, even though I already have a full-time job. Crazy, right? I even decided to take not one, not two, but three courses each week. Oh, and I managed to pass two big CMA exams in just four months. So, how did I pull this off?

First things first, I had to sort out my schedule. We all have only 24 hours daily, no matter how busy. I spent about two weeks tweaking my daily plans until I found extra hours for my classes.

After figuring that out, I talked to my husband about my big idea. He was worried I might wear myself out, but he was super supportive. He even offered to help out with some chores around the house. Teamwork makes the dream work!

Initially, I decided to take it easy and sign up for two classes each semester. But guess what? I felt bold and bumped it into three courses to finish everything in just two semesters. Yeah, I soon found out that was a big oopsie. Grad school isn’t like undergrad; there’s way more work. I had tons of assignments and papers to write. I even had to take five vacation days from my job to catch up on schoolwork. It’s a good thing it wasn’t the busy end-of-year work season!

Despite the craziness, there were some rules I stuck to:

  1. Keep Running: Believe it or not, I still ran my usual 5K every morning. It’s my ‘me time.’
  2. Don’t Overeat at Night: I had to make sure I could focus on studying and feeling too full would make that hard.
  3. Use Spare Time Wisely: Any extra 15 minutes I had, I used for quick chores. A clean home makes a happy mind.
  4. Be Grateful: I couldn’t have done this without my amazing husband. He’s my rock.

So, after a chaotic but super rewarding year, I survived and thrived. I kept my grades up and even graduated with two honors. I know this was one of the craziest things I did. Whatever your big dream is, go for it. Just ensure you have a solid plan, an excellent support team, and a lot of determination.