Tag: Self-Improvement

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Crafting My Persona by Choosing and Adapting Traits for Personal Growth

Written 6/19/2024

Hello Dear Readers,

I’ve grown increasingly adept at molding myself closer to the ideal version of who I envision myself to be. While I’m not going as far as Wayne from Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series—whose complete transformation into different personas is on another level—I do take inspiration from certain traits of characters I admire and integrate them into my own personality.

The process starts with identifying a persona that resonates with me, someone whose qualities spark a sense of aspiration within. From there, I customize and adapt these traits to fit my own personal goals and the context of my life. This approach allows me to consciously evolve aspects of my character in a more directed and meaningful way.

Characters from books and movies often inspire me, especially those who are quick-witted, clever, and delightfully mischievous. While these traits are engaging and can be fun to emulate, there’s a fine line between being charmingly cheeky and coming off as tiresome or inappropriate. For instance, Wayne from the Mistborn series is a character I particularly enjoy. 

I admire his mischievousness and wit. Still, his quirky habit of trading items like a half-eaten hot dog for something of someone else’s doesn’t translate well into real-life interactions. Copying him 100 % would not endear me to others. I doubt my wife would appreciate it if there was a half-eaten hotdog for a thing I took from her. Therefore, I pick and choose aspects of his demeanor that can be adapted to suit my personality without overstepping social norms.

These days, my quest for a clear role model has become more pronounced. Finding a single person or character who embodies all the qualities I admire would simplify the process of self-improvement. It would provide a clear template to emulate, a solid example of how those traits could be integrated into a well-rounded and respected individual. Until then, I have been somewhat like an artist, selecting different elements from various sources and attempting to create a coherent and attractive whole.

The challenge is to do so without ending up like a patchwork or a clumsily glued pot. It’s about integrating these traits in a way that they form a seamless part of who I am, enhancing my personality rather than overshadowing or contradicting the core of my being.

Hopefully, as I continue on this path, I will discover or develop a role model who perfectly aligns with the vision I have for myself—a person whose traits and demeanor I can strive towards holistically rather than in fragments. This search for a perfect model is not just about imitation but about finding a version of myself that feels authentic and fully realized.

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Embracing Mondays: A Fresh Start to the Week

Hello Dear Readers,

Sometimes, ticking off every item on my to-do list seems like a marathon with no finish line. Some tasks take me longer than anticipated. Often, it’s because I’ve lagged behind on the initial few tasks, setting off a domino effect that delays the rest of my day. Despite these setbacks, I find solace in the small victories. Take yesterday, for instance—I might have moved at a snail’s pace from one task to another, yet I consider the day a triumph. After all, the essence of progress lies not in speed but in direction and completion.

Today marks the beginning of a new week, presenting a clean slate and boundless possibilities. I awoke at my usual time, firmly rooted in the day’s purpose and barely straying from my envisioned path. With several hours to spare before hitting the optimal time for my run—the sole time-sensitive activity on my agenda—I afford myself the luxury of a slower pace. This deliberate choice ensures that, despite a leisurely start, there’s ample time to conquer my list without the rush.

My relationship with Mondays has undergone a remarkable transformation. The mere thought of Mondays used to summon a sense of dread, a harbinger of the end of leisure and the resumption of a week filled with tasks and obligations. Weekdays were synonymous with non-stop activity, leaving weekends as my much-needed oasis of rest and rejuvenation. Consequently, Mondays felt like an unwelcome jolt back to reality—a stark reminder of the endless cycle of routines and responsibilities that awaited.

However, a shift in perspective has led to a newfound appreciation for Mondays. My weekends, once a sanctuary of relaxation, have gradually become cluttered with commitments, making Mondays unexpectedly serene in comparison. This inversion of roles between weekdays and weekends has led me to question the longevity of my aversion to Mondays. It may be time to retire my longstanding grudge against the first day of the week, as it no longer seems justified. After all, Mondays offer a chance to reset, a pause before the rush, making them less about the end of freedom and more about the opportunity to start afresh.

In this light, Mondays have shed their gloomy cloak, revealing themselves as a beacon of new beginnings. They remind us that every week offers a fresh start, an opportunity to approach our goals with renewed vigor and a positive outlook. So, as I embrace this shift in perspective, I find myself looking forward to Mondays with a sense of anticipation rather than apprehension. It’s a subtle yet profound reminder that our attitudes towards time and tasks can transform our experience, turning dreaded moments into opportunities for growth and renewal.

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Rediscovering Myself After a Stroke: A Journey Back to Youth

Written on January 7, 2024

 

Throughout my life, I often encountered the philosophical musing: if given the chance, would one return to their youth with the wisdom they’ve accumulated? For the longest time, my answer was a resolute no. My younger years were not periods I looked back on fondly, and the prospect of revisiting them, even with the advantage of hindsight, seemed far from appealing. However, fate, through the unexpected event of a stroke, made this decision on my behalf. In a bizarre twist, I was thrust back to a state resembling my youth, where essential habits and skills I took for granted were wiped clean, necessitating a thorough relearning process akin to a child taking their first steps.

 

The journey was nothing short of frustrating. Imagine, if you will, the sudden and complete loss of control over bodily functions once operated on autopilot. The mere act of walking became a Herculean task that demanded my full attention and effort. It was during this time, amidst the throes of rehabilitation and reacquaintance with my own body, that I decided to shift my perspective. Rather than mourning the loss of my former capabilities, I chose to view this as an opportunity to rebuild myself, but better.

 

This shift had its challenges. My natural inclination towards perfectionism meant that each failure and stumble was met with harsh self-criticism. Yet, the stroke provided an undeniable excuse for every shortcoming. Dropped a glass? A direct consequence of the stroke. Forgot to refrigerate the leftovers? Another lapse courtesy of my condition. While it was tempting to lean on these excuses, I recognized the danger of allowing my stroke to become a crutch that hindered improvement.

 

Determined to overcome, I made a pact with myself to persevere. While my stroke was a legitimate barrier to achieving perfection, it wasn’t an impossible one preventing improvement. Embracing kindness towards myself in the face of failure became a transformative practice. This newfound leniency allowed me to approach tasks with a beginner’s mindset, gradually improving without the pressure to achieve mastery from the outset.

 

Logging and Journaling became vital in this process, providing a tangible record of my progress. Over five years, this practice revealed to me just how far I had come. The path to recovery and self-betterment was slow, often imperceptible from day to day, but the cumulative effect was undeniable.

 

In retrospect, the stroke inadvertently forced me into the very scenario I had long dismissed. Returning to a state of developing ability with the wisdom of my years became a blessing in disguise. It offered me a second chance at relearning how to live and live better. Through this journey, I discovered resilience, patience, and a more profound kindness towards myself that I might never have found otherwise.

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Crafting My Path: Unveiling My Ten-Week Chess Improvement Strategy

Hello dear readers,

Embarking on a journey of personal growth and skill enhancement, yesterday marked the culmination of my meticulous efforts in drafting a comprehensive chess improvement plan. With the serene ambiance post-dishwashing and the anticipatory aroma of the next day’s coffee setting the stage, I’ve dedicated myself to devoting a substantial 90 minutes each day to the intricate art of chess.

In the vast and intriguing landscape of chess, openings form the initial steps that lead to the myriad possibilities of the game. Recognizing their significance, I’ve carefully curated a list of 10 esteemed openings, each holding the potential to unravel new layers of strategic depth. The intriguing aspect of this endeavor is not just the diversity of the openings but the systematic approach I’ve adopted to study them. Every week, a selected opening from the list becomes the focal point of my exploration.

Mondays, the heralds of a new week, are dedicated to adjusting a well-structured template study plan, aligning it with the nuances and subtleties of the specific opening chosen. This initial adaptation lays down a solid foundation, facilitating a deeper and more nuanced understanding of the opening throughout the week. From Tuesday to Friday, I diligently adhere to the tailored plan, immersing myself in the intricacies and strategies that each unique opening presents. This structured approach ensures a gradual yet comprehensive grasp of the selected opening, paving the way for mastery.

Weekends bring with them a different flavor to my chess improvement journey. Stepping away from the theoretical and strategic studies, I engage in practical application by playing a game or two against the unrelenting and unbiased computer. This transition from theory to practice is instrumental, as it allows me to witness the real-time application and effectiveness of the strategies I’ve been immersed in throughout the week. The computer, with its calculated precision and absence of human error, serves as a formidable opponent, challenging me to elevate my game.

Spanning across ten weeks, this meticulously crafted plan offers a balanced blend of theory, strategy, and practical application, each component reinforcing the other. As I navigate through the varied openings and adapt my strategies, I am not just learning; I am evolving, refining my approach and enhancing my skills with every passing day. The journey, while demanding, is as enriching as the game of chess itself – filled with endless possibilities, challenges, and moments of triumph.

As the final week approaches and the completion of the ten-week journey is on the horizon, the anticipation builds. With enhanced skills and a plethora of new strategies under my belt, I will start scouting for a local tournament. This will serve as the ultimate testing ground, a platform to apply, assess, and showcase the knowledge and skills I’ve accumulated. The tournament is not just a competition; it’s a reflection of my growth, a manifestation of my dedication, and a testament to the effectiveness of my chess improvement plan.

 

In conclusion, this ten-week chess improvement journey is more than a structured learning experience. It’s a personal endeavor of growth, reflection, and continuous learning. Through a balanced mix of study and practice, adaptation and application, I am not only navigating the complex world of chess openings but also crafting my path towards mastery. As I look forward to the challenges and triumphs that lie ahead, I am reminded that, like chess, life too is a game of endless possibilities and strategic moves.

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Cultivating the Mind: The Art of Mental Pruning for Self-Improvement

From the recesses of my earliest memories, I’ve battled the demons of intrusive thoughts and impulses. While I have successfully tamed the majority, a few still slip through the cracks, especially in moments of distraction or heightened stress, leading to undesirable actions. To mitigate such occurrences, I practice what I’ve come to call ‘mental pruning.’

Mental pruning is a conscious, deliberate effort to suppress and eventually erase impulsive, negative thoughts. The process demands envisioning the person I aspire to be; this mental portrait serves as a benchmark against which I assess the nature of my impulsive thoughts. It acts as a guiding light, illuminating the counter-thoughts that help me weed out the undesirable ones.

For instance, there have been occasions when I’ve snapped at my wife unreasonably. Recognizing this as contrary to the person I strive to be, I visualize the action, recoil at the thought, and reestablish a mental image of my ideal self. Through repetition, I notice such impulses diminishing as if I’ve pruned that branch of thought to the extent that it no longer overshadows my desired thinking.

This strategy of self-training may resonate with you. While it’s no easy feat and demands constant vigilance and mental effort, I can vouch for its efficacy in my journey. It may well be adaptable to your pursuit of self-improvement, helping you become the person you aspire to be.

By becoming conscious of an intrusive thought, I focus my willpower on suppressing it, aiming to expunge it from the recesses of my mind. This task necessitates the formation of a mental image of my ideal self. I employ this image as a comparative tool to assess impulsive thoughts and as a wellspring for the counter-thoughts that cleanse my mind of negativity.

Such a mental pruning exercise is not merely an act of suppression; it’s a cultivation of the mind, nurturing the positive and curbing the negative. The analogy of pruning is apt, as it embodies the essence of selective elimination and regrowth, creating room for the blossoming of desirable thoughts and behaviors.

The journey of mental pruning is far from a stroll in the park. It demands resilience, patience, and a relentless pursuit of self-betterment. The fruits of this labor, however, are profoundly rewarding. The diminishing of undesirable impulses and the flourishing of positive thoughts are testaments to the transformative power of this practice.

I hope that sharing my experience with mental pruning may inspire others to embark on their journeys of self-discovery and improvement. The road may be arduous, and the pruning shears may sometimes feel heavy. Still, the prospect of cultivating a mind enriched with positive thoughts and actions is a compelling motivator.

 

I encourage you to explore the potential of mental pruning. Adapt it, make it your own, and witness its transformative power on your journey toward becoming the person you wish to be. After all, the mind is a garden. It can flourish into a sanctuary of peace and positivity with careful tending.

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Turning Setbacks into New Beginnings: The Art of Maintaining Streaks

Hello Dear Readers,

As you strive to build successful routines and habits, there will inevitably be days when obstacles throw you off course. The weather, unexpected emergencies, or simple fatigue disrupts your meticulously planned performance. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I recently faced such a challenge when I could only complete one set of exercises instead of the scheduled two. While you can’t rewrite the past, you can control how you navigate the future.

A Chinese proverb wisely states, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second-best time is now.” This aphorism reminds us that although we can’t undo our failures, the next best thing is to act immediately to rectify them. Resilience isn’t just about avoiding loss; it’s about your recovery speed. Dusting yourself off and getting back on track is what truly counts.

Losing a streak can be disheartening, especially when you’ve invested significant time and effort into maintaining it. For example, I’ve consistently practiced Japanese language exercises on an app for over 250 days. Although I take immense pride in this achievement, I must acknowledge that this isn’t my first streak. It is, however, the longest one I’ve maintained. While I aim to continue without interruptions, life sometimes cooperates with our plans. Sometimes, unforeseen circumstances can disrupt even the most entrenched habits.

When setbacks occur, the key is not to dwell on them but to take them as learning opportunities. The first step is to evaluate the reason behind the break in your routine. Once you identify the root cause, you can develop strategies to prevent similar interruptions in the future.

The art of maintaining a streak lies in its renewal. A broken streak isn’t a dead end; it’s a junction that points you toward a new path, offering you a chance to build a longer, more robust streak. It’s like planting a new tree in your garden of habits; the more you nurture it, the more resilient it becomes, capable of withstanding future storms.

So, the next time you find your routine interrupted, don’t see it as a setback but as an opportunity for a fresh start. Learn from it, adapt your strategies, and continue your journey toward self-improvement. Plant that new tree today, and watch it grow more potent than the last one. With this mindset, you transform every end into a new beginning, turning setbacks into setups for future success.

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Unleash the Power of Mental Triggers for Better Memory

Hey, wonderful readers!

Let me pull back the curtain on an ingenious technique I’ve been using to improve my memory. Initially, I began honing this strategy to keep up with my exercise routine but soon realized its potential for aiding memory in many situations. You may already be familiar with setting triggers for remembering routine activities. This strategy works similarly and employs mental cues to help you remember anything you want.

Here’s the low-down: It starts with identifying a specific goal you want to remember. Next, you choose a particular moment or setting to recall this goal. The last piece of the puzzle is creating a vivid mental image of what you’ll see or experience at that moment. This mental snapshot serves as your trigger—when the real-life scenario mirrors your imagination, it prompts you to remember what you intended.

Let me give you a slice-of-life example. Often, while out and about with my wife, she’ll mention something she wants to be reminded of when we return home. In such instances, the heavy lifting has mostly been done by her; she has already chosen what should be remembered and when it should be recalled. All I have to do is visualize us arriving home and walking through the door. This imagery then acts as a mental anchor, linking the envisioned scenario to what my wife wants to remember.

Now, I won’t sugarcoat it—this strategy isn’t foolproof. The accuracy of your mental trigger is crucial for the technique to work. If the actual situation diverges significantly from what you’ve imagined due to an unforeseen circumstance, the mental trigger might not go off. For instance, I’ve tried using this approach to remember items we must pick up from the grocery store. Suppose the store has decided to rearrange its layout or introduce a new display. In that case, the disparity between my mental image and reality can throw a wrench into the works, causing me to forget what I intended to purchase.

But let me tell you, even with these occasional hiccups, this memory trick has proven to be far more effective than any other method I’ve attempted. So, give it a whirl and see how it enhances your memory game. Think of it as fine-tuning your mental GPS to help you navigate the labyrinth of daily tasks and commitments. If done right, this little hack could become a life-saver—or at least a memory-saver—for you too!

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Two Proven Methods for Identifying Habits You Actually Need

Hello Dear Readers,

One of the challenges in establishing good habits is figuring out which practices you need. There are many strategies to spot these gaps in your life, and I’ve tried a few. Today, I want to share two methods that have worked well for me.

The first approach is straightforward: pay attention to your immediate environment. Look for tasks, especially repetitive chores, that need doing. Once you’ve identified an assignment, the next step is to decide how often it needs to be done.

Sometimes, determining the frequency is easy because experts have already provided recommendations. Take, for example, the air filters in our HVAC system. I talked to our HVAC technician about routine maintenance to extend the life of our heater and AC. He recommended changing the air filters monthly. Based on his advice, we set up a recurring Amazon order for inexpensive air filters. I also created a monthly reminder on my phone.

There are times, however, when you have to determine the frequency yourself. In such cases, you might need to revisit and adjust the interval to fit your life circumstances better.

The second method I use for identifying habits involves listening to those around me. Specifically, it grabs my attention if I hear my wife or anyone else complain about the same thing three times. I consider whether it’s something I can take action on. Using this approach, I’ve established some beneficial habits. For instance, I’ve gotten into cleaning our cat’s litter box, scrubbing our toilets, and calling my parents more regularly.

These strategies help you identify gaps in your routine. Building a complete set of habits is a gradual process. It’s usually better to let them accumulate over time rather than trying to establish them all at once.

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From One Step to 10K: How Small Choices Built a Resilient New Me After a Stroke

People can be characterized by the sum of their habits.

Everybody has habits, but not everybody chooses their habits. Every choice you make is a step toward forming a life-long habit. As such, making choices that lead you toward your desired destination is critical. So, the first step toward developing good habits is deciding where to end up.

 

After my stroke, I wanted to regain my lost mobility and lessen the burden on my wife I had become. The first step along this journey was to be able to take more than one step between resting. My wife helped immensely with this, and we went on daily walks around our Portland neighborhood.

At first, it was challenging as I had to concentrate on moving my legs. One of the things I lost from the stroke was unconscious control of movements. Walking required concentrating on activating the right leg muscles in the proper order, and doing this for more than a couple of steps resulted in neuro-fatigue, a term I learned during physical therapy.

Neuro-fatigue might be something you’ve experienced if you’ve ever spent a long late night studying for an exam the next day and felt exhausted despite being largely sedentary. This used to happen to me just from walking due to the concentration and mental effort this once simple act demanded. Counting my steps helped me maintain my focus on walking, and it also gave me a way to track improvement.

Initially, I would need to sit down and rest every 50 steps. Still, eventually, I was able to last the hour-long walk until we got home again. Now, I can run 10 kilometers without having to sit down midway. In my next posting, I’ll provide a more detailed description of how I built up to a 10k run.

 

If you want to achieve something, you’ve already taken the first step toward accomplishing it, but you need to take the next step. As I see it, the next step is to subdivide your path into small portions. In my walking, this was easy to determine; I just needed to try and put one more effort than I did on the previous walk. If I failed, I had to try that number repeatedly if necessary. Eventually, I would succeed, and I could increase my goal again.

Eventually, I discovered that what was once all I could manage was now merely halfway to my current goal. If you’re stumbling and trying to take your next step, try making your step smaller.

 

Remember the fable about the tortoise and the hare: slow and steady will win many races.