Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke
Today was—how shall I put this—an unqualified disaster.
It began badly and showed no interest in improving. When I woke up, it was literally freezing outside, and I spent the entire morning dreading my usual run. Cold has a way of turning motivation into theoretical knowledge.
Before even getting to the run, I failed at completing my planned number of dips and leg lifts. That’s usually a sign that I’ve hit my current limit. Not “I’m lazy” failure—more “the muscles have voted and the motion did not pass” failure.
Sometimes my muscles simply don’t repair fast enough. Because of my kidney condition, I’m on protein restriction, which means muscle recovery takes longer than it does for the average man. I already space out resistance workouts by several days for this reason. Today was just not the day to push the number. I’ll try again next week. No drama—just biology.
Then came the plot twist.
My wife popped into the room and asked, very calmly, whether I needed to go to my nephrologist today.
Today?
Yes. Today.
Just like with my dentist appointment the other day, I had completely forgotten about it. I was convinced the appointment was tomorrow. My wife, working from home, had noticed that I was still very much at home when I shouldn’t have been.
This one felt bad.
Missing a nephrology appointment isn’t ideal, especially when you’re actively monitoring kidney disease. My wife had driven me to the lab a week earlier specifically to prep for this visit. If something were abnormal, the doctor would call early—but still, forgetting the appointment wasn’t okay. I immediately called the office and reached the answering machine, which did nothing for my guilt.
My wife looked worried. That part stung the most.
Logically, I knew that if there were serious lab abnormalities, the office would have contacted me already. Emotionally, I still felt like I’d dropped the ball—again. Clearly, I need a stronger system. The solution is probably simple: checking my calendar needs to become part of my morning phone routine, right alongside language lessons and weather checks.
And just to complete the full bingo card of disappointment: I also failed to hit my target running pace.
Cold weather and speed do not get along. At all. I finished the run, but not at the pace I wanted. At least Friday and Saturday should be less hostile—still cold, but no longer actively threatening.
So yes. Today was rough.
But days like this still teach something. I need to be better at:
- respecting recovery limits
- managing appointments
- planning around cold weather
- and keeping my systems tight when my brain decides to freelance
As always, the goal isn’t perfection.
It’s improvement—one repaired habit, one rescheduled appointment, and one tolerable run at a time.
Tomorrow gets another chance.