Written August 24, 2025
Hello, Dear Readers,
Good thing I got my run in yesterday, because this morning my wife suddenly called an audible on our Home Depot plan. Originally, we had scheduled that errand for next Friday—she even took the day off—but today she woke up inspired and decided, “Why wait?”
Of course, the universe laughed at our enthusiasm. Turns out Home Depot opens an hour later on Sundays, which left us cooling our heels in the parking lot for fifteen minutes. Luckily, we weren’t alone in our wait. Another customer had brought along… his raccoon. Yes, you read that right—a live, wriggling raccoon perched on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.
My wife was thrilled. The man explained that he’d stumbled upon a litter of baby raccoons, and while most scattered, this one chose him. Apparently, the raccoon trusted him completely, climbing freely without a leash, occasionally scratching him with sharp little claws, and nibbling on his hands like a teething toddler. My wife immediately wanted to send a photo to our niece, who is endlessly curious about anything with fur, feathers, or fins. When we asked permission to snap a picture, the man agreed without hesitation—clearly proud of his unconventional companion.
He also gave us a crash course in wildlife domestication. Wolves, he said, might look like oversized huskies but forget about taming them—they’re hardwired against it. Raccoons, on the other hand, sometimes make the decision themselves. His furry friend had apparently chosen him, and from the way the man beamed, the feeling was mutual.
By the time we finished chatting with “the raccoon whisperer,” the store had finally opened. Our exchange inside went quickly, and soon we were headed home with our shiny new tool. My wife, ever the organized one, filed the receipt straight into the binder. (It came from the gift shop, so the original receipt was already in the mix—hence her earlier scavenger hunt through the house.) I, meanwhile, registered the warranty. Better safe than sorry; tools are like raccoons—sometimes they decide to stay with you, and sometimes they don’t.