When Laundry Plans Go Sideways (and Your Wife Outruns You Anyway)

Written June 4, 2025

Hello Dear Readers,

You know that sinking feeling you get when something’s just not right—and then it hits you like a sock to the face? That was me, late last night, when I realized I had completely forgotten to do the laundry. Not just any laundry, mind you—the sacred post-yardwork laundry I committed to on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You see, I cleverly tied this task to mowing the lawn, mainly because our yard seems to be hosting an exclusive flea convention these days. Despite treatment, they’re still lurking like tiny vampires with a vendetta. So, off come the clothes right after yard work and straight into the washer—in theory.

Last night, the theory failed. Spectacularly.

By the time I remembered, it was far too late to rescue the load. Cue mild domestic chaos this morning.

As fate would have it, I was supposed to wash my wife’s exercise clothes—including her favorite running pants. And of course, she discovered this right before her early morning run. Now, if you’re picturing a dramatic meltdown involving yoga mats and laundry baskets, rest assured: no such thing occurred. My wife is made of sturdier stuff. She simply used her backup pants. Crisis averted, no tears shed, treadmill unbothered.

Honestly, I suspected she wouldn’t skip her run. Ever since the sun decided to stop ghosting us, she’s been energized like a solar panel on espresso. She’s rediscovered her love for the morning light as summer approaches, and let’s just say her energy now lasts all day. Like, from sunrise to are-you-still-talking-at-10. Kind of energy. I love it for her. Truly.

Anyway, the only real casualty here was the schedule. So today began with me tossing laundry into the machine before my run, then sprinting back to shift it to the dryer after my run—domestic multitasking at its finest.

Now, in our household, laundry isn’t just a weekly chore. It’s practically a sport. We’re both pretty active—my wife exercises every day, and I’m not far behind with my runs, yardwork, and weekend DIY projects. We also go through towels at a suspiciously high rate. Are we drying off or reenacting water ballet? Unclear.

Still, our 12-year-old washing machine soldiers on. Like a trusty old knight with a spinning lance.

And as for forgetting? Well, it happens. Even to people like me, who have built survival systems out of schedules ever since a brain stroke rewired my memory circuits. My occupational therapist taught me to tie tasks together (mow = wash clothes = prevent tick attack). For the most part, it works. And luckily, my memory stayed sharp after the stroke—so sharp that I finished speech therapy in three weeks. With a bit of help from my wife, some card games with my mom, and the noble therapeutic power of video games (yes, for real).

My wife likes to remind me that even people without a stroke forget things—especially if they don’t write them down. Maybe that’s why she lives by her to-do lists like a general preparing for battle. So, I guess I shouldn’t beat myself up over one rogue laundry day.

The important thing? I got the laundry done. Eventually.

And hey—clean pants, happy wife, no ticks. That’s a win in my book.

When Weather Gaslights You: A Nashville Tale

Written May 4, 2025

reviewed 5/18

Hello Dear Readers,

Last night, Nashville—ever the drama queen—decided to flirt with winter again. One minute we’re sweating through 80°F days, the next, it’s 50°F and somehow feels like we’ve wandered into a scene from Frozen. Yes, 50 degrees doesn’t sound frigid on paper, but after a week of borderline tropical heat, it hits like a betrayal. I call it thermal whiplash.

We recently took a trip up to Indiana to visit my dad, which should’ve been a casual northern jaunt. Turns out, Indiana didn’t get the springtime memo. It’s just six hours north, but the temperature there lagged behind Nashville’s by a good 10 to 15 degrees. We arrived confidently underdressed and promptly humbled by the Midwest’s commitment to staying brisk. Apparently, even the weather in Indiana had trust issues.

My theory? That chilly Indiana air decided it liked us so much, it followed us home like a stray dog. And now here we are—hosting winter’s encore in May.

My wife, who possesses a fully functioning autonomic nervous system (unlike yours truly), took the temperature dip in stride. While I was layering like a human lasagna, she just mumbled something about needing sleeves and kept her 5:30 AM workout routine like clockwork. The woman is basically a solar-powered Terminator—nothing stops her if it’s scheduled.

Meanwhile, I work from home and consider “schedule” more of a suggestion than a rule. My day bends around three pillars: sleep, meals, and whether it’s cold enough to make me regret my life choices. As temperatures go haywire, I adapt like a lizard seeking sun—except slower and with more coffee.

I had just kicked off my summer schedule. You know, the one where I run before the pavement becomes a skillet? That plan lasted, oh, about two days before the weather pulled a reverse card. When your body can’t regulate temperature like it used to, you don’t negotiate—you pivot. And so, back to the winter plan we go: outside chores and running only when the thermometer behaves.

As for tomorrow, it looks like I’ll be suiting up in long sleeves again. Annoying? Yes. Unfair? Absolutely. I mean, I wasn’t consulted when they set the week’s forecast. But here I am, a humble peasant bowing to the weather gods.

Still, I got my bonus chores done today like a champ. And since I recently added piano practice into the mix (because why not make life more melodious?), I’ll be squeezing that in post-shower, post-workout—basically when I’m already exhausted but slightly cleaner.

Moral of the story? Nashville weather is like a cat: beautiful, unpredictable, and completely uninterested in your plans.