Written July 13, 2025
Hello Dear Readers,
Just like yesterday, I meant to help my wife. Truly. But by the time I even stirred from beneath the covers, she had already conquered the yard like a stealthy ninja with a Fitbit.
She’s a morning person—like, Olympic-level. She wakes up two hours before me with the discipline of a monk and the energy of a toddler after cake. Her weekend routine? Exercise first, then silent-but-deadly yard chores (no machines until a decent hour, of course). Only after that does the noisy machinery roar to life like a polite suburban Godzilla.
Apparently, she’s been blocking off yard work time on Saturdays and Sundays like it’s a strategic military campaign. And why? Because she knows I’ve been wrestling with food restrictions and fluctuating weight. So in true hero fashion, she’s lightening my load—literally and figuratively.
Now, I did feel a sprinkle of guilt for not helping… until I realized she never woke me up. No alarm nudges, no “Hey, come outside.” Which means—I was off the hook. Delegation by omission! And to be fair, she always leaves me a chore or two like a benevolent taskmaster. Today’s mission? Yard debris cleanup. I handled the post-battle cleanup like a pro.
Thanks to our teamwork (her initiative and my… eventual contribution), the yard is looking sharp this summer. We’re not worried about the HOA—we’re the couple they wish would enter the neighborhood yard contest. No weeds staging coups in the front yard, no ivy uprising on the fence line. Just tidy suburban excellence.
Although… I do need to start dealing more proactively with that pesky Virginia Creeper. It’s like the Hydra—cut one vine and five more pop up. My wife slays it every season, and it keeps coming back like it’s got a subscription to our yard.
The rest of our Sunday was blissfully uneventful. I brewed our traditional fancy coffee (yes, we are that couple), whipped up a fresh batch of pastry bites, and carved a cantaloupe like a melon maestro. The kitchen may not be the jungle, but I do my part in our domestic ecosystem.