Tag: brain stroke recovery

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I made my Own Cookies

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

Today, a minor household emergency occurred. I ran out of cookies. So, I made my own cookies.

During the summer, I deliberately keep a small supply of calorie-dense snacks around because I have difficulty maintaining my weight when my physical activity increases. Between running, exercise, and mowing our steep lawn, I can burn through more energy than I manage to replace. Cookies have therefore acquired an unusually respectable position in my nutritional strategy.

I don’t eat large quantities at once. Normally, I have one small cookie here and there to add a few extra calories without dramatically increasing the amount of food I need to eat. At least, that is the theory.

With my weekly cookie supply officially depleted, I decided that instead of buying another package, I would try making my own. I found a recipe online for brown butter cookies and modified the batch with both white and semi-sweet chocolate chips, along with walnuts.

They turned out extremely well. Possibly too well. My original plan of eating one small cookie at a time immediately encountered an operational failure when I ate three in rapid succession.

Apparently, quality control required multiple samples. My wife tried one as well and said it was very good. This is a more significant endorsement than it might sound. She enjoys good food, but she isn’t particularly enthusiastic about sweets. So when she compliments a cookie, I take the review seriously.

Now we face the real challenge. Can we make this batch last an entire week? Considering how quickly the first few disappeared, the outlook is uncertain.

Fortunately, we have enough ingredients to make another couple of batches, and the recipe is definitely good enough to keep. The next time the cookie supply reaches dangerously low levels, I know exactly what to do.

Of course, homemade cookies have introduced a slight flaw into my carefully controlled weight-maintenance strategy. Store-bought cookies are easy to ration. Fresh brown butter cookies sitting in the kitchen are considerably more persuasive. If this batch doesn’t survive the week, I suppose I’ll simply have to make another.

For health reasons, naturally.

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Skipping a Rainy 10K and Finding Progress Somewhere Else

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

I find progress somewhere else after skipping a rainy 10K run. This morning was warmer than yesterday, considerably wetter, and apparently determined to make my usual Saturday 10K as unappealing as possible. The humidity was already high when I woke up, but I got dressed and prepared for my run anyway.

Then I reached the front porch. It was raining. Not a pleasant little drizzle, either. It was raining hard enough that I stood there contemplating the prospect of spending nearly two hours running through heat, humidity, and steady rain.

Usually, I can tolerate one or two of those. Today, the weather had apparently purchased the complete package. I decided I simply didn’t want to do it. Some days, perseverance means heading out despite imperfect conditions. Other days, you look at the weather, reconsider your life choices, and walk back inside.

Today belonged to the second category. Once I made the decision, I simply continued my morning as though I had completed the run.

Next came vacuuming, followed by a shower and then breakfast. Admittedly, showering without first becoming completely drenched in sweat was a rather pleasant novelty. Some encouraging news was also waiting for me on the scale. After spending much of the summer struggling to maintain my weight, I have finally gained enough to reach the exact middle of my target range.

Not barely inside it. Not hovering nervously along the lower boundary. Right in the middle. Considering how much my weight has fluctuated with running, lawn mowing, and other summer activities, I am quite happy to see it there. The day’s progress wasn’t limited to my weight, either.

We finished caulking around the bathroom sink vanity, which means that part of our seemingly endless bathroom project is finally ready for the plumber.

I’ll call on Monday and hopefully arrange for someone to come early next week. So far, our plumbing company has usually managed to send someone within a day, so this stage of the project may move quickly.

I have learned not to say that too confidently. Home renovation projects can be optimistic. So, no 10K today. Still, my chores are done, my weight is exactly where I want it, and another part of the bathroom project is ready to move forward. Sometimes sticking to the plan is important. Other times, success is knowing when the plan deserves a rain check.

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When the Brakes Fail: An Unexpected Interstate Adventure

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

Today was supposed to be relatively straightforward, but it turned into an unexpected interstate adventure.

I had my hematology appointment, and my wife had taken one of her rare days off from work. Normally, I would take an Uber to the appointment, but since she was available, she offered to drive me instead. It was a nice change.

Unfortunately, her car apparently had plans for the afternoon, too. We had barely entered the interstate on our way home when the brakes suddenly began making a horrible grinding noise. That was accompanied by the unmistakable smell of something burning near the tires.

Neither sound nor smell inspires tremendous confidence while traveling at interstate speeds. We immediately pulled over and stopped beneath an overpass. Once safely off the road, we took out our phones and began looking for a tow truck. That should have been simple, except our location introduced an unexpected complication.

Because we were directly underneath another road, GPS insisted that we were actually on the road above us. Technology is marvelous right up until it confidently announces that you are somewhere you are not.

After some explaining, we finally managed to convince everyone, including the technology, where we actually were. A tow truck was dispatched, leaving us with about forty minutes to wait beneath the overpass. Eventually, the truck arrived and carried my wife’s car to our regular repair shop. We left it there overnight and took an Uber home.

So, ironically, despite my wife taking the day off specifically so I wouldn’t need an Uber for my hematology appointment, we ended up taking one anyway.

Life does enjoy preserving the original plan whenever possible.

Once we finally arrived home, I returned to ordinary life. I showered, started the laundry, and began cooking. After an afternoon involving failing brakes, interstate shoulders, confused GPS coordinates, tow trucks, and an unexpected Uber ride, mundane household chores felt remarkably peaceful.

Then we checked the mail. Waiting patiently in our mailbox was an invitation encouraging us to rejoin AAA. Perfect timing. Absolutely perfect. Apparently, AAA’s marketing department has achieved a level of situational awareness our GPS hasn’t.

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Balancing A Busy Schedule With Family Time

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

Today required a little more attention to the clock than my usual Saturday. Naturally, Saturday morning also meant my regular run, but I expected a busy schedule.

We had arranged to visit my sister’s house to celebrate both my wife’s and my mother’s birthdays, which meant I needed to finish my normal morning routine before it was time to leave.

So, as soon as I woke up, I put on my running clothes and headed outside. Unfortunately, the run itself was difficult.

Once again, my pace was disappointingly slow. I have been working hard to improve my speed, so seeing another slower result wasn’t exactly the encouraging start to the morning I had hoped for.

Fortunately, I wasn’t running against only one clock. I may have lost to my target pace, but I was still comfortably ahead of our departure time. I’ll count that as a different category of victory.

Once I got home, I didn’t have much time to contemplate my running performance. Saturday’s next contestant was waiting for me: the vacuum cleaner.

I finished vacuuming, took a shower, and finally made my way to my desk for breakfast. I still needed to fit in my planking and stretching exercises before we left, so the morning became a carefully choreographed sequence of running, cleaning, eating, exercising, and occasionally checking the clock.

Some Saturday mornings are relaxing. Others apparently require project management. Despite the full schedule, everything worked. We left on time and arrived at my sister’s house exactly as planned. Once there, the stopwatch could finally retire for the day.

We had a wonderful time catching up with everyone and celebrating the birthdays together. My brother-in-law made tacos for the occasion, and after a morning filled with running and exercise, I was more than prepared to participate enthusiastically in that part of the celebration.

My running pace may not have been what I wanted today, but the rest of the day went beautifully. That is worth remembering.

Not every successful day needs to include a personal best. Sometimes success means finishing the run, completing the chores, arriving on time, spending an afternoon with family…

and being rewarded with tacos.

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Birthday Celebrations, Lawn Mowing, and the Mystery of Four Pounds

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

Yesterday was my wife’s birthday.

She isn’t normally someone who makes a great production out of birthdays, so I was especially pleased that she was genuinely excited about the gift I chose for her. I bought her a collection of glow-in-the-dark acrylic paints. Apparently, I chose well.

She has already started experimenting with them and, judging from the number of ideas she has mentioned, the paints have acquired a rather ambitious project schedule. I suspect various objects around our house may soon begin glowing after the lights go out.

While my wife was happily experimenting with her birthday present, I was occupied with a rather different project.

I was trying to regain four pounds.

Apparently, my body had decided yesterday’s disappearance was merely temporary. I was so busy last week that my body couldn’t maintain the weight.

We also plan to try a new restaurant as a belated celebration of my wife’s birthday. Under ordinary circumstances, a calorie-dense restaurant meal might inspire a little nutritional guilt. At the moment, I am looking at it more as strategic replenishment. After today’s mowing session, those calories already have an assignment. Hopefully, they’ll help prevent another dramatic drop on tomorrow morning’s scale.

In the meantime, my wife has new paints to experiment with, I have regained my missing weight, and we have a birthday dinner to enjoy. All things considered, that sounds like a successful celebration. And if tomorrow’s scale disagrees, perhaps we will simply have to celebrate her birthday again.

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Summer Lawn-Mowing Session: The Workout I Never Signed Up For

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

After finishing this morning’s usual lawn-mowing session, I stepped onto the scale and was greeted by some encouraging news. I had gained a little more weight.

For the first time in quite a while, I found myself almost exactly in the middle of my target weight range. That may not sound particularly exciting, but after spending much of the summer trying to keep my weight from drifting downward, it felt like a genuine victory.

Around our house, mowing the lawn is less of a household chore and more of an endurance event. Our backyard sits on a fairly steep hill, which means every pass with the mower feels like a workout. Even though I use an electric mower, it still takes five or six hours to finish the entire yard if I attempt it all at once. I’ve learned that’s not a particularly wise idea. Instead, I divide the work over two days. My legs, and probably my back, seem to appreciate the compromise.

Even so, mowing burns an astonishing amount of energy. It has become one of the main reasons my weight fluctuates throughout the summer.

Before I took over the job, my wife handled the mowing herself with a hand-push mower. Looking back, I honestly have no idea how she managed it while working full-time. She also divided the work into several sessions. Even then, she insisted it felt like running a 10-kilometer race at full speed.

Having now inherited the responsibility, I’m no longer in a position to question that comparison.

In fact, I may owe her an apology for ever doubting it. Because all of this extra activity burns so many calories, I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat a little more throughout the day. The balancing act is delicate.

I need enough calories to maintain my weight, but I also have to respect the dietary restrictions that come with my kidney condition. So far, the strategy seems to be working. My recent lab results have remained stable, which is reassuring. Of course, maintaining weight isn’t something you accomplish once.

It’s something you accomplish again tomorrow. And the day after that.

If experience has taught me anything, tomorrow morning’s weigh-in may tell a different story. The day after mowing is often when I discover that several pounds have quietly disappeared.

At least now, I have a little room to spare. My hope is simple. I’d like the scale to decide that staying put is perfectly acceptable for a while. After all, sometimes the greatest fitness achievement isn’t losing weight or gaining weight. Sometimes it’s convincing the scale to stop being so adventurous.

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Building Muscle With Kidney Disease: A Recovery Story

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

After this morning’s mowing session, my garden’s cardio equivalent, I discovered something wonderful: I’ve finally hit the exact middle of my target weight range. After months of struggling to keep weight up, this feels like winning the wellness lottery.

Here’s the thing about recovery: it’s not linear. Three years ago, I couldn’t ask my brain to move my legs. My brain wasn’t taking calls. Stroke will do that to you. For months, I relearned how to walk with a walker, then without it. Eventually, I progressed from walking to running to jogging—each milestone a small revolution. Over the last 2-3 years, I’ve poured intentional energy into rebuilding muscle through resistance training, something my body desperately needed.

But here’s where it gets tricky: kidney problems and muscle-building are locked in a standoff. Building muscle demands protein; kidney disease demands I restrict it. Add summer yard chores—the kind that demand serious physical output—and weight maintenance becomes a high-wire act. I cycle through foods, strategically balancing activity, intake, and the restrictions my kidneys kindly insist upon. Ironically, resistance training actually helps my kidneys, yet the muscle I gain makes weight maintenance exponentially harder.

Tomorrow’s weigh-in will be telling. History says the day after heavy yard work, the scale drops significantly. But for once, I have a buffer. For once, I don’t have to panic about dropping below my range. Recovery isn’t just physical. It’s learning to celebrate the small wins, building strength within constraints, and finding your rhythm when your body keeps changing the rules.

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A Slow 10K Run and the Importance of Looking at the Long Term

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

Today’s 10-kilometer run was… let’s just say it wasn’t destined to become a personal record. It was a slow 10k run.

The morning actually started quite well. There wasn’t much rain, the temperature felt reasonable, and I headed out thinking it might be a comfortable run. Then the sun woke up. By the time I finished my first five kilometers, it seemed determined to remind everyone that it was still July in Tennessee. The temperature climbed, the humidity rose with it, and before long the entire route felt like a giant steam room.

With every kilometer, I could feel the heat draining my energy. My pace gradually slowed as if someone had quietly turned down the power on my legs. After several cooler mornings following the Independence Day heat wave, my body had become accustomed to more pleasant conditions. Returning to hot, humid weather felt like an unpleasant surprise. Running through that humidity was like jogging inside a sauna without the relaxing music. So, I briefly considered cutting the run short.

Yesterday’s run, however, had already been interrupted by a thunderstorm. I didn’t want to make a habit of stopping whenever conditions became difficult. There are certainly times when stopping is the right decision; lightning is one of them, but today’s challenge was simply uncomfortable, not unsafe.

So I kept going. I tried pushing harder. The weather responded by pushing back. In the end, I never found the extra speed I was hoping for.

What I did find was the finish line. Sometimes that is enough. One lesson running keeps teaching me is that improvement is rarely linear. Some days everything seems effortless. Other days every stride feels heavier than the last.

If I judged my progress by today’s run alone, I might conclude I wasn’t improving at all. Fortunately, one run tells only a tiny part of the story.

See The Improvement in a Long Period

When I compare where I am today with where I was a year ago, the difference is unmistakable. My endurance has improved. My consistency has improved. Even my recovery has improved.

The daily fluctuations matter far less than the long-term trend. That thought makes difficult days much easier to accept. Tomorrow is my scheduled rest day before beginning another week of training. The stopwatch will have another opportunity to challenge me.

And I’ll have another opportunity to prove that showing up consistently matters more than having one perfect run.

Hopefully…

the weather cooperates next time.

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A Cooler Morning and a Faster Run: Progress After the Heat Wave

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

This morning began with a small mistake. In my enthusiasm to get out the door, I completely forgot to put on my running headband. It wasn’t a disaster, but sweat kept trying to find its way into my eyes. A headband is one of those things you hardly notice, well, until you forget it.

The good news was that the weather more than made up for my oversight. After the intense heat around Independence Day, temperatures finally dropped. The heat wave wasn’t limited to the South, either. My wife mentioned that one of her colleagues in New York had been dealing with similarly extreme temperatures. For me, the cooler weather felt like a gift.

I don’t take holidays off from running, so I still completed my regular 10-kilometer run on the Fourth of July. Unfortunately, I ran in oppressive heat and humidity. Every kilometer felt like a negotiation with the weather, and it was one of the most difficult runs I had experienced in quite some time.

Today’s conditions were completely different. The cooler air made running noticeably more comfortable, and my pace improved immediately. I still didn’t reach my target pace, but I was faster than in every run I completed during last week’s heat wave. That counts as progress.

Weather affects every runner, but it hits me even harder because of my medical history.

Several years ago, I experienced a hemorrhagic stroke affecting my cerebellum. Since then, my body has struggled to regulate temperature as effectively as it once did. Hot, humid conditions are much more physically demanding for me than they used to be, so dramatic weather changes can significantly affect how I perform.

Knowing that helps me keep my expectations realistic. Some days, I am competing against the stopwatch. Other days, I am competing against the weather. The important thing is recognizing the difference.

Today’s run reminded me that last week’s slower times were not necessarily a sign that I was losing fitness. Sometimes your environment limits what your body can do, and the wisest response isn’t frustration but patience.

The cooler morning proved that the work I have been putting in is still paying off. I wasn’t as fast as I ultimately want to be. But I was faster than I was last week. And sometimes, that is exactly the evidence you need to know you are moving in the right direction. Tomorrow will bring another opportunity.

I’ll just try to remember one important piece of equipment before I leave the house.

The headband.

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When a Morning Run Meets a Summer Thunderstorm

Brian’s fitness journal after a brain stroke

This morning began with heavy rain tapping against the windows.

Instead of rushing outside, I reached for my weather app. According to the forecast, the rain should ease in about an hour. That sounded like a perfectly reasonable excuse to go back to sleep. So, I reset my alarm and happily returned to bed.

When I woke again, the house was quiet. The rain had stopped, or so I thought. I got dressed, laced up my running shoes, and headed out. Nashville’s weather has been a little unusual this year.

Normally, we receive plenty of rain from early spring into early summer, but this year’s rainy season seemed to arrive later than expected. June finally brought more regular rain, and even July has been filled with thunderstorms.

Earlier that morning, my wife had already gone for her run. She looked outside, decided the weather seemed good enough, and headed out with optimism. She came home completely soaked. Apparently, the weather had other plans.

I usually don’t let a little rain stop me either. When I started my run, the rain was still falling, but only lightly. I accepted that I would probably end up wet and settled into my normal pace.

Being soaked has never bothered me very much. Around the halfway point, however, the rain suddenly became much heavier. I briefly debated whether to turn around or keep going.

Every runner has that conversation with themselves.

“It’s only rain.”

“Maybe it will pass.”

“You’re already wet anyway.”

Then nature cast the deciding vote. A loud crack of thunder echoed across the sky. That ended the discussion immediately. Rain is merely inconvenient. Lightning is persuasive. I turned around and headed home. I didn’t complete my planned five kilometers, but I did manage to get part of the run finished before the weather took over.

Discipline is..

Sometimes we imagine discipline means refusing to stop. I think discipline also includes knowing when conditions have changed enough that continuing no longer makes sense. There will always be another morning to run. There doesn’t need to be another opportunity to test whether lightning can run faster than I can. I have no interest in discovering the answer to that question.

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